04x04 - Season 4, Episode 4

Are you going to fidget the whole time?

I miss my cardigan.

Too bad. It's a blazer day.

But if everyone's wearing blazers and I'm not, I stand out.

Everyone would want to be friends with me to learn my secret.

Is your secret that you didn't read the dress code?

I feel like a private schoolboy.

Just admit you'd rather be wearing a cardigan.

Mate, you don't wear a cardigan to the Regional Realtors Association of Tasmania's annual conference.

You want powerful shoulders.

Regional Realtors Association of Tasmania. RAT! Sorry, RRAT.

Don't bring that up during the conference.

They're sensitive about it.

I still think we should be wearing matching jackets or something.

You know, so everyone knows we're a team.

Like the Pink Ladies in Grease. Maybe next time, hmm?

How much further is it?

Oh, 30 minutes-ish.

Eugh!

You can't think of a way to amuse yourself for 30 minutes?

Easy for you to say. Barbara let you drive.

You've got your phone. You can look up anything.

Oh, you can look up who did the voice work for ALF and see what he looks like.

Nah, I'm good.

Well, now I'm curious.

Can you look it up for me?

It's weird having an awards night during the day, right?

You haven't read the itinerary, have you? Most of the day is...

Uh-oh.

No, no, you'll enjoy it.

It's some of the best minds in regional real estate giving presentations about real estate.

Boo!

Then the awards.

Boo!

Mum, I know you don't care, but winning Best Regional Salesperson is a big deal, it's great for the agency, and you.

Hm.

Are you going through your speech?

I'm looking up who played ALF. Ooh, show me.

Too late. I've moved on.

It must be weird going to an awards night when you already know you've won.

Everyone who's getting an award knows about it already.

Wish they'd just skip the ceremony and post it to me after the conference.

Do you need help writing jokes for your speech?

No.

Make sure you give McCallum Real Estate a plug.

There'll only be real estate agents there. What's the point?

What are you gonna open with?

"Thanks."

Strong.

I can write you a closer.

That is my closer.

How about, "Hi, everyone. Thanks for the award. Whoa!"

"Oh, it almost fell through the floor, like the house prices in Glencove Bay."

Or, um, "Big thanks to the Association for recognising new and upcoming talent."

I reckon given your age, that'll kill.

I'm not saying you're old, I'm just saying you could... you could definitely make that work.

"Don't worry, everyone, my speeches are like a studio apartment with no toilet. Short ensuite."

Eugh!

Oh, God!

"Winning this award has given me a new LEASE on life."

She'll run out of real estate jokes soon.

Will I? Or am I on a RENT ROLL?

Stop it or I'll make blazers mandatory.

Yes, Emma, no more... tgage brokers.

Yes!

♪ Yeah, we know ♪
♪ Even if we had so far to go ♪
♪ Even if the pace is slow ♪
♪ Well, I'll be coming home to you again ♪
♪ If we find ♪
♪ Something to feel that we belong ♪
♪ If we can right all the wrongs ♪
♪ Well, I'll be coming home to you again. ♪

Look at all the lanyards.

Is this like Disneyland for real estate agents?

More like Comic-Con.

Comic what?

Oh, it's a big event for fans of anime, comic books...

That's enough, thanks.

OK.

Hi.

Hi. Here for the conference?

Uh, no, just here for the free water and mints.

Yes. Team McCallum Real Estate.

Names, please.

Uh, Daniel and Barbara McCallum.

Sorry about the water and mints joke.

And Emma Dawes.

Right. Here is Barbara.

Thank you.

And Emma.

Mmm.

And... Daniel, was it?

Yes.

No, I can't seem to find you, sorry.

Could it be under a different name?

A middle name? Or a nickname?

Try 'red-headed rat root... '

No. Uh, I replied to the email.

Did you click the RSVP button?

No, I just replied.

Oh, you have to press the button, sorry.

OK. It wasn't clear.

They both did it.

Uh, so, what now?

Hm?

Do I just go in or...

You didn't RSVP.

Yes, but I did reply to the email.

No, but you have to click...

The button. Yes, I know.

There aren't any seats left, I'm afraid.

You can have mine.

No, no. Look.

We travelled a really long way to be here today.

My mum is receiving an award.

Best Regional Salesperson. This is a huge moment for her.

And she would be devastated if her son wasn't in there to hear her speech.

Isn't that right, Mum?

Yeah.

Look, I'm not supposed to do this, but because your mother's receiving an award, I'll make an exception.

Thank you.

Cheers.

And you might want to grab this.

Sorry?

I told you, we don't have any spare seats.

I'm gonna need that back at the end.

Not gonna steal a plastic chair.

I'm gonna grab a coffee. You want one?

No, thanks.

I'm good thanks, Mum.

Hey.

You did not tell me there'd be people like us here.

Real estate agents?

People our age.

In my mind, I just thought it'd be people, you know, Barbara's age.

Of course there are, and younger.

You know we're in our 30s, right?

Honestly, sometimes I forget.

But this is perfect.

Why?

This is the perfect opportunity for you to meet someone... romantically.

( Chair scrapes )

Hey, careful!

Sorry. Sorry.

I think I'm good.

Come on. You can ask out anyone you like.

And if they say no, you never have to see them again.

Well, I'll see them at the next conference.

Yeah, but you won't see them around town.

Well, you're single too.

Well, I'm saving myself for David Tennant.

I think you should get one phone number today.

Lanyard lady was nice.

Maybe she let you in because she has a massive crush on you.

Yeah. I'm just here for real estate purposes.

So is everyone else.

This is a room full of women you already have something in common with.

You know this is a good idea.

One phone number.

I guess it wouldn't hurt to try.

There you go.

I mean, I am part of an award-winning team, after all.

Exactly. You think they give out free chairs to nobodies?

Your name wasn't even on the list and they let you straight in, like a boss.

Yeah. One phone number.

I can handle one phone number. Yeah, boy!

Now, let's go find our table and then respectfully hit on some women.

This is us.

Yes! Next to Barbara. I'll squeeze in between.

No, no. You're meeting people, remember?

Yes, but I don't want to open by asking people to shift for me.

Believe in yourself.

No. Why don't you go and sit next to...

I can't.

You can.

You really can.

( Clears throat )

Excuse me. Do you mind if I sneak in there?

Oh, sorry. I thought...

Oh, I don't have a card. I'm with McCallum Real Estate.

I, uh... I forgot to register.

I didn't forget to register. I just didn't push the button in the email.

Yep, sure. Yep.

Sure.

Thank you.

Thanks. Thank you.

Man: So, during the weekend, I decided to... decided to retile the entire bathroom.

I wanted... I'm, uh... I'm Daniel, by the way.

I do have a name despite the lack of a card.

Sorry?

Daniel.

Oh. Gemma.

You have... you have your own chair.

Oh. Got it for free when I came in.

Man: So, it's kind of like sandstone...

( Lively conversation )

Who is that?

Oh, my God, it's him.

Him who?

The coat guy.

Well, I can see that. His name's Donovan.

He's always making videos for his listings online.

He wears that coat in all of them. It's like his thing.

What's with that? Does he think he's in The Matrix?

Or does he think WE are?

I don't know if I hate it because it's lame or because I'm not confident enough to pull it off myself.

That's pulling it off?

He's got more offices under him than anyone else here.

He's probably the richest person at the conference.

It's almost like he's wearing a cape. With armholes.

And Barbara's friends with him?

Not that I know of.

Here, Barbara!

You're next to me.

Lucky me.

Donovan, this is Emma.

Hi.

Donovan: Lovely to meet you.

It's always great to see the next generation joining the family business.

Oh, she's not my mum. But I am like a daughter.

I have to ask, your coat. Oh, thank you.

It's a little place in Tokyo. Hand-stitched. Very hard to come by.

I know the owner, so I get a good deal.

Oh. Do you have more than one?

I might.

Hi.

Oh, and my son, Daniel.

Hi, Darren.

Daniel.

Oh, I'm sorry. That wasn't a power play. I misheard.

You brought your own chair. That's a man who knows what he likes.

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I... yeah, I do.

Look, I just want to let you two know that you are so lucky working with Barbara, because Barbara, I think, is one of the best agents in the state.

I can rent you the ground I walk on, if you like.

Or I can. I'm a property manager.

Oh, speaking of, let me introduce you to my team.

These guys work with me in all my offices both here and on the island.

Do you mean the mainland?

Mm-hm.

This is Aaron. He is the head of customer service.

Hey.

This is Michelle.

The head of property management.

Hi.

Oh, I guess I'd be the head of property management for us.

Well, if there was a head...

You can be head of sales.

Do you two want to leave this to another time?

Sorry.

Yep.

This is Denise, head of sales. Same as me.

And over here, Gemma.

Director of marketing.

Hi.

Oh, we don't have one of those. I'm adding it to my title.

Well, again, technically...

Shh.

Darren.

Barbara, I'd like to talk to you about an opportunity that's arisen.

Sure.

Emcee: Hi, everyone.

We'll chat later.

Now, thank you all for coming.

Uh, please give a huge round of applause to our CEO, John Patrice.

Thanks, Jacquelyn. Thank you. Wow.

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the 10th annual conference of the Regional Realtors Association of Tasmania.

RRAT.

We've got a big day planned.

You're going to hear from some of the best minds in the regional real estate scene.

Each speaker is a top performer in their field and I'm sure that you're just as excited as I am to hear their insights.

What do you think Donovan wants with Barbara?

I don't know.

When do we get to use the textas?

I don't know.

So, enjoy yourselves.

But not too much, alright?

Steve Gibbons, I'm looking at you.

Where is Steve?

Uh, he was fired after last year's conference.

Well, let this be a reminder that nowadays, people's phones have cameras on them.

Well, let's get started, shall we?

Allow me to introduce our first workshop.

Yes! Workshop means craft.

Here to talk about investment portfolios in market downturn, from Dynamic Growth, it's Tina Martin.

( Applause )

Whoo!

Give it a chance, OK?

Aaron: Whoo!

Thanks, John. Alright, everyone.

Let's talk numbers.

Wow! A lot to think about.

Remember, you can't get rent from them if they're in jail.

( Applause )

This is information that's well worth writing down.

We all know that in sales, trust is key.

But can anyone name a profession people consider untrustworthy?

Lawyers!

Yes, that's one.

Car salesmen?

Yep.

Man: Fish-and-chip-shop workers.

Uh... that's a new one.

They never weigh the chips. We just have to trust it's the same amount.

But do you know the most untrustworthy profession?

Us.

( Gasps ) Did you know that?

Yeah.

There are many ways to build trust.

Man: Weigh the chips!

One easy thing you can do is eye contact.

Eye contact builds trust. It shows we have nothing to hide.

And we don't do it enough.

Now, I want you to turn to the person next to you...

You're right. I am getting a lot out of these presentations.

Where are you going?

I'm gonna go hide in the toilet and play on my phone.

Now, you're allowed to blink.

And I just want you to feel like you are looking directly at another human being.

You're building trust with them.

The connection that you're making absolutely...

Donovan: So I put a stop to it.

I think my face is telling you that that's a good price...

Hey. You guys snuck out too?

No, Barbara and I are just having a quiet word.

Oh. About what?

About a business opportunity.

Oh. What sort?

A job. For Barbara.

Like a second one?

No, it's a...

Sorry.

If you'll excuse us, Emma.

( Applause )

Donovan: Denise is retiring at the end of the year.

I'm going to need a new head of sales.

Right.

I'll put you on a very generous retainer.

I'm happy to negotiate that with you personally.

And I want you training up my sales staff.

Out of my office?

I want you working from the Sorell branch.

Now, I don't want to be your boss.

I want to bring you in as a business partner. Co-owners.

You're free to service Rosehaven.

Sorry, I couldn't help but overhear that.

Couldn't you?

I just had to jump in, 'cause you're wasting your breath, and I hate waste.

Emma, why don't you just go back inside?

Why? I'm just...

Go and see how Daniel's doing.

Go on.

John: Well, that's the end of the presentations, but we'll be back shortly with the awards.

Sorry, Donovan.

And no pressure.

But feel free to mingle in the foyer if you'd like to have a drink.

( Cheering and applause )

If I didn't know better, I'd swear you all just came for the free booze.

( Laughter )

Whoo!

See ya later!


I'm back.

It's finished.

Ah.

Did you see Mum?

Yep. She was hanging out with Donovan.

He wants her to take the red pill.

The what?

Blue? I don't know. Do a spell?

I'll tell you when I've got more information.

You focus on you.

Have you asked Gemma for a drink yet?

I haven't.

Why not?

Because I'm nervous.

Mate, don't be. You're a catch.

I am talking good banterer, very clean, always overcooks chicken.

That one doesn't sound positive.

It's not.

It's just something I've been meaning to tell you.

The point is, she's the lucky one.

Yeah, I don't think she's interested.

She left as soon as it had finished. Maybe she was busting.

Maybe she has a partner already.

Aaron: She doesn't.

Sorry?

You guys were talking quite loudly.

Uh, Gemma's single.

Quite single, actually.

And she WAS busting.

Mmm. Tiny bladder.

See?

Sounds like you're in safe hands.

I'll be back.

But she may not be interested.

Mmm. You don't want to be rejected by someone you're sitting next to.

Mmm.

This is a terrible pep talk.

So, comfort eating. I've been there.

Sorry?

I mean, it must have stung when Barbara turned you down.

She swear at you? Did she make fun of your coat?

She didn't turn me down. Course she did.

No. She's thinking about my offer.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, right.

Well, why don't you offer someone else?

Why are you so interested in Barbara?

Well, she's a great salesperson. She's one of the best.

Well, it might seem like that, but that is just because it's really easy in Rosehaven.

We don't have any competition. Is that right?

Yep.

Well, maybe she needs a challenge.

Running a business with Daniel and me is challenge enough.

Look, I understand you don't want to lose her, but it's business.

And she understands that.

You don't want her, OK?

She's not great to work with. She... steals.

She steals from her own business?

Yep. And graffities.

Mm-hm. Good one.

No, really. She... she has a problem. Mmm.

She doesn't flush!

Hi. Sorry to interrupt.

Um... I'm Daniel. McCallum.

Hi. Judith.

Elise.

You guys are from..?

Lockhart and Gainsborough.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

What is it that you wanted?

Oh, uh, just wanted to say hi and, uh, ask if you're enjoying the conference so far.

We are, thanks.

Do you work for the conference?

No, no. Just a, uh... private survey.

Yeah, we have seven people at our Howrah branch, but I'm looking to expand there as well.

Is that right?

Now, I know Donovan's approached you, but before you decide on anything, I'd really like to introduce you to my team.

Barbara, I need to talk to you about your behaviour.

Excuse me?

Yes.

I need to borrow you for a moment.

I'm in the middle of something.

Alright. I'll do it here. Tell him no.

Tell them all no. You've got a job.

And you might not in a minute.

I'll talk to you later.

I mean, if I got the rip fixed, they'd still be good pants, but I haven't, and it's been a few years now.

Sorry. Don't know how I got here.

Daniel, can I talk to you, please?

Yes. Um, excuse me.

I'll... have a good night.

As in you have a good night.

Goodnight.

Bye.

Mate, I'm really, really sorry to interrupt you while you're making your move.

Uh, it's fine. We didn't have great chemistry.

I need help. Donovan's trying to poach Barbara.

What?

The opportunity he mentioned?

He's trying to poach her.

And I should have told you sooner, but I wanted you to meet someone, and I thought there's no way she'd actually...

Em, Em, it's fine. Mum would never work for someone else.

He's not asking her to. He wants a business partner.

He's gonna bulldoze our office and send her to Sorell.

Sorell?

That's his largest branch.

And it's not just him.

See? Now she's talking to the eye-contact lady.

It's like everyone here wants a piece of her.

We'd be delighted for the opportunity to work with you.

Must get frustrating out there in the sticks.

Well...

Uh, what's going on?

Vicki, I was surprised your topic was trust, seeing as you're a homewrecker.

Sorry?

Oh, for God's sake.

I'll talk to you after the awards.

Well, Mum, if you're going to leave the business, I think we have a right to know.

I said I'll speak to you after the awards.

Sorry, Vicki, what were you saying?

That's OK. I'm just saying...

If they try and bulldoze the office, we can chain you to the front.

Why me? Chain yourself.

I wish we'd never come.

You said this award would help the business. It's tearing us apart!

It is good for the business.

It's just also shown everyone... how good Mum is at her job.

Well, can we run the business by ourselves?

You've always wanted to, right?

If Mum took Donovan's offer, we'd be in direct competition with her.

Plus, all our clients would go with her.

We'd be starting from scratch.

So how do we stop her?

Badmouthing her doesn't work.

No-one believes me.

I'm thinking.

Threats?

Blackmail. Trap her in her office?

Jacquelyn: If everyone could move inside and quickly take their seats, we will begin the awards.

Any award recipients, please make your way to the green room.

Man: I worked hard to be a property manager who delivered consistent service.

Unlike the fish-and-chip shop near my childhood home, who would constantly cut corners...

It can't really be over?

It would be a great opportunity for her.

And she's done more than enough to support us already.

I mean... she doesn't really need us.

Now I make sure landlords' properties are cared for...

We could hold Mrs Marsh hostage.

She'd know we were bluffing.

..property manager, you could say I weigh the chips.

( Applause )

Next, the award for the Best Regional Salesperson in the last financial year.

One of our most consistent performers, who just goes from strength to strength.

Barbara McCallum.

( Cheering and applause )

Thanks.

Real estate doesn't always feel like a team sport, but it is.

I want to thank my son, Daniel... and my head property manager, Emma.

They're part of the reason that I'm able to win this award tonight.

Not a huge part. I sell the bloody houses.

( Laughter )

I look forward to continuing our fine work at McCallum Real Estate, Dales Road, Rosehaven.

She plugged us.

( Applause )

Jesus!

Almost dropped like the house prices at Glencove Bay.

( Laughter, cheering and applause )

I still can't believe you used my joke.

I hadn't planned to. The damn thing slipped out of my hand.

Thanks for, um... thanks, Mum.

I'm so glad you're not leaving.

I never doubted you for a second.

You're not leaving, right?

No. I thought I made that clear.

Why didn't you just tell us that before?

I hadn't heard all the offers.

It's always good to know what the competition have got going on.

And I couldn't tell you while I'm standing in front of them.

Fair enough.

I'm so glad.

And almost everyone I told about your stealing thought I was joking.

What?!

Can I hug you?

No, I'm holding a drink.

I'll wait.

Where are you going?

I'm going to ask a girl for her phone number.

Yeah! You should open with, "Hi. I'm Daniel from the speech."

Meet you on the dance floor!

Finished that drink yet?

Nah.

( Dance music plays )

Um...

That's ridiculous!

Gemma, can I please borrow you for a second? Um...

Sure. Sorry.

Yep. Sure.

Um, I was wondering if I could have your, uh, phone number, please.

Um, I'd give you mine, obviously.

Then maybe we could get a drink at some point.

Or we can do that at the bar over there right now.

Or some other time.

Or email.

Um... yeah. No, I'm OK. Sorry.

No, no, no, no. Uh, just thought I'd ask.

Uh, I'll head back to my, uh, friend... over there.

( Chuckles )

Sorry, um... did you mean 'no' as in 'no right now' or... 'No' as in 'no, thank you'.

Cool.

( Chuckles )

Hi, Daniel?

Hi.

Hi. Um, I was wondering...

Yeah?

Could I have that chair back?

It's hot.

Hot, isn't it?

Apparently.

Rosehaven can get hot.

I'm only wearing one thermal.

Here's my rent. Few days early.

How often do I get to touch this much actual money?

I'll tell you, never.

Take some photos of me.

No. Put it in the safe.

I don't have to do anything except deposit this money and avoid the sun.

Oh, no.

What if, on the front of the office, we put your photo up and write, "Huge emotional investment opportunity"?

I'm good.

What if we update your agent profile on the website to say you're single?

Please don't.

What if we change our answering message to say, "Thank you for calling McCallum Real Estate. We're not available to take your call, but I tell you who is available"?

Is it me?

Yes!

No, thank you.

OK. Well, I'll change it.

We'll see how we go.

Don't change it.

Which photo of your face do you want to go with for the front window?

I've got some beauties from school you could use.

Perfect!

Better not follow through with any of this.

We're gonna follow through with all of them. Just trying to help.

We could rent your lips out, for kissing.

Daniel: That's a great idea.

Barbara: But seriously.

No hitting on any of our clients.

Daniel: I'm not gonna hit on any clients.

What, has one of them said something about me or...

Emma: Yeah. Pearl has.

Barbara: Pearl?

Daniel: The 90-year-old?