03x04 - Runaway Baby

Welcome, everyone, to the grand opening of the Knight Cartwright Heart Clinic.

They want to buy the stent.

$4.8 million?

And royalties! ( Squeals )

( Exclaims )

Harriet: ( On video ) Congratulations, Hugh.

Option A: we co-parent.

Or option B: you walk away, no strings.

It's option B.


We have to stop having s*x.

I don't think I could be with somebody who would abandon their own child.


( Both exclaim )

This is my girlfriend's daughter, Ivy.

Mum's pretty much my best friend.

You heard from her?

I didn't want to say it in front of Ivy, but, uh, her mother took off.

Why can't you just be my dad for once?

Maybe I don't even want kids, Matt.

Is that a conversation you're ready to have?

Meryl: Let it be a bright light that reflects his spirit and our loss and the thought that renewal is possible.

He's perfect!

Ajax: I told you.



What would it mean if I wanted to revisit option A?

( Cheering and laughter )

( All make toast in Portuguese )

( People set glasses down )

Oh, yeah!

( Laughs )


Do what I say, not what I do, OK?

What the hell is that?


It's bloody...

It's delicious!

... 58%. Is it even legal?

You know, Charlie was conceived on this.


Oh, that would've been interesting.

( Laughs ) It was a good night.

Hugh: Finally, someone who knows how to drink around here.

Oh, Hugh! Oh!

Koo-koo, I love your country life. I love you all!

And Meryl, the way you have risen from adversity, you are such an inspiration!

Oh, no, no, no, not really.

Yes, yes, yes!

Look, I've got an early start, so...

To Meryl...

Come on.

Hugh: Come on, Mum.

To Meryl!


Just so lovely to see you all smiling again, so...

Perhaps one more.

( Others cheer )



An intoxicating spirit for an intoxicating spirit, huh?

( Laughs )

It's impossible to be in a bad mood around you, Carlito.

( Gasps )

Life is joy!

That's all I know.



( Laughs )

Well, you saw that, didn't you?

Yeah, I really didn't want to see that.

Right in front of us.

Papa sh1ts in my backyard...

Your backyard?


My mum!


Hey, there she is. Are you ready to go?

This ends before it begins, Charlie.

♪ I'm going up the country, babe, don't you want to go? ♪
♪ I'm going up the country, babe, don't you want to go? ♪
♪ I'm going some place where I've never been before ♪
♪ I'll leave this city, I've got to get away ♪
♪ I'm gonna leave this city, I've got to get away ♪
♪ All this fussing and fighting Man, you know I sure can't stay. ♪

"A person you once considered a friend has put a great distance between you, testing you. Finding other meaningful things may help you on the path to healing."

Are you sure that's even Virgo? It's way off.

I hate those things.

What else does it say?

Apparently, I will maximise my financial returns and should consider selling.

Mum, look out!

( Tyres screech )

Wait there.

Oooh, darling thing!

Oh, sweetheart!

Oh, darling!


Oh, it's a darling thing!

Extra passenger!


Always keep the dirty nappies to weigh for our waste records.


What are you doing?

Little Jimmy did a poo to end all of civilisation.

Oh! I missed it!

We didn't want to wake you.



Only dad.

Rookie dad.

Oh, wow.

He looks good, doesn't he?

Um, if the baby sees Mia's face instead of mine, will it bond with her?

That's not gonna happen.

Babies are very resilient.

In fact, they thrive in all conditions, you know, with one parent or two, or even one that's kind of far away but still there.

I'm gonna leave you to it.

You're very happy today.

I may be stuck here but my stent is going global, baby.

Don't ever call me 'baby'.

Um, I won't ask.

Never thought I'd do this again.

( Laughs )

It's quite calming.

I guess you'll never get to do it at all now.


Actually, I told Harriet I'd do the co-parenting thing after all.

Oh. Wow.

Good for you.

Uh, come up to the cockpit after lunch.

Got a surprise.

I'm not sure I can take any more of those from you.

Gordon's here with his stool sample.


In Glad Wrap, not an air-tight container.




( Sniffs )

Hang in there.

We'll get you back with your mum soon.

It's just hay fever.

Well, I know a bit about...

Pollen if you want to talk about it.


( Sighs )

What's that face for?

Carlito was supposed to help me with the fencing this morning and he never showed.

Did you tell him to back off Mum?

No, I haven't seen him.

Maybe it was nothing. They were drunk.

He's always flirty with everyone.

Here we go.

You saw him, Charlie.


And I hate it. But what do you want me to do?

Tell him to get his end away somewhere else.

You're disgusting and I can't deal with this right now.

There's a teenager out there and she's really missing her mum.


( Laughs )

Well, if it isn't Whyhope's favourite farmer.

What are you doing back?

Just working at Mum and Dad's ag store.

( Laughs )

Yeah, I was in Sydney for a bit. That was fun.

But the guys there are just really into themselves, aren't they?

City folk.

I mean, not that I went there just for the guys.

I mean, that would be desperate.

Um, so, how's your mum and dad?

Uh, passed away, actually.

Shut the front door.

Well, not Mum. Just Dad.

Jim Knight?

Oh, Matt, I'm so sorry.

Oh, sexy press wheel.


Yeah. Yeah.

You should see the depth control.

I bet. Tracking?

Yeah, so it closes the seed furrow to prevent surface light penetration and reduces premature leaf emergence.


Oh, so I'm actually here for this.

This is for you.

I didn't order this.

Your brother did.

Oh, God...

Sorry. Hang on.

( Laughs ) You're right.

Can you get that out of my face?

Just checking my focus.

This is gonna look great for the investors.

OK. Just... a little bit of space.

I'm a fly on the wall.

( Mobile phone rings )


Canola? Really?

Well, Google says it's all the rage.

Oh, and that's how you're deciding our crop rotation now?

Google got me through the first six months of being a GP here.

And you didn't think I'd want a say?

Well, you're fundamentally oppositional, so... no.


( Hangs up )

Hey! Hey!

What did you do that for? That's my dad's hat!

OK. I'm sorry, I didn't know.

What happened this morning?

Uh... Sorry. We slept in.



Kettle's on.


Matt. Are you serious?


What the f*ck!

Uh... Sorry... I get it. I get it.

Your mother's a beautiful woman, very, very beautiful, but...

In what world do you think that this is OK, mate?

You need to calm down, OK?

I don't understand.

He thinks that we were... ( Laughs )


Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh!

Don't be so stupid!

Get out of here!


I saw you last night!


Understand this, if he is here with you I am not coming back here ever.

I see exactly what's going on here.

This is Dad's home and he cannot be here.

I forbid it.

Ken: And we're streaming live in three, two, one...


Hugh: Welcome to the inaugural Knight Cartwright live-streaming event.

A special 'willkommen' to our German investors, without whom none of this would be possible.

I'm Dr. Hugh Knight, surgeon and inventor of the Knight Cartwright stent, a revolutionary...

( Door bangs )



The Knight Cartwright Cardiac Clinic...

Hugh! Hey! ( Bangs window )

... is a centre...

One of my colleagues.


The Knight Cartwright...

( Over intercom ) Hugh! Hugh!

... stent.

What happened last night?

We expect global demand for the stent...

( Banging )

Did Carlito sleep with Mum?

What happened after we left, Hugh?

Get rid of him.

With you in a moment, Doctor.

( Feedback )

Apologies for the disruption.

We are now at the critical point in the procedure, where I'm about to inflate the balloon, which will expand the stent onto the artery...

Oh, what's that?


Far from being a regional backwater, we pride ourselves at being...

( Splash! )

... um, at the forefront...

Is he urinating?

Mia: Gross!

... of elite medical practice.

That's my partner, Dr. Penny Cartwright, brilliant mind, instrumental in the development of, uh, the stent.

Penny: ( Over intercom ) Hello.

Yes, well, I hope you enjoyed the presentation.

Auf Wiedersehen.

I was completely humiliated.

Oh, you're not the only one.

Why didn't you tell me it was for our investors or that we were going live?

Well, I thought you'd be excited about using our stent.

What were you doing bringing an animal into theatre anyway?

My horoscope said that when one is tested, one needs to find other meaningful things to help one to heal.

Yes, but it didn't say anything about getting pissed on by a wombat.

Your 12:30's here, Penny.


Hi, Hugh.

April, how are you?

'Canola' complain.

Everybody, breathe. I pulled the video down.


Good work.

I have to get back to it. This way.

( Exhales )

Now, your ovarian reserve results.

Your AMH came in at 4.5.

That's a great result for your age.


Plenty of eggs.

Your chances of conceiving in the future are good.

Better bags me a rooster, then.

Is Hugh single?

Righto, then.

( Laughs )

Oh, look out.

Lucky ice-cream.

Hi, Glen.

( Half-laughs )

Uh, meeting Hugh.

Don't expect punctuality is his forte.

Oh, is this about finances? Perhaps I could help.

Oh, don't stress yourself out with those big numbers, Meryl.

Well, I used to handle fairly sizable accounts when I was mayor of this town, Glen.


Sorry I'm late.

Ah. The man of the house hath arrived.

Right. Well, here is this month's payment.

You, um, ever heard of internet banking?

Oh, laugh at the Luddite.

But your money's safer this way.

Alright. Kept the hounds at bay for the moment.

You're so lucky to have your sons to lean on when you're so terribly broken.

You come and have a wee sherry with old Glen, tell him all about your loneliness.

Goodbye, Glen.

It's been an insight.

I should pr...

Does he think that I've lost my marbles as well as my husband?

I'm not an idiot.


Is it true what Matt said?

Well, it depends on what Matt said.

Don't make me say it...

Mum, you and Carlito aren't actually...

What if we were?

Well, bec... because you can't. Can you?

We're anatomically the same as you and Hayley. I can't see...

Uh, stop.

The discoveries of a new sexual pique...

Mum, I know it's not your fault but you're not right in the head at the moment, OK, and I'm not coming home until he's gone... except for right now 'cause I need to get something and also for meals, I still want dinner.

But, uh, I'll eat it outside.

For God's sake!

Why don't you just tell them that nothing happened?

( Sighs ) No!

And I told Carlito to keep his mouth shut too.

Look, if everybody wants to act like I'm a fool lost at sea, so be it.

( Handbrake cranks )


( Sniffs )

That hay fever's getting worse.

It's fine.

Well, get in. I'll give you a ride back.

No, thanks.

Have you seen Dad?

Mmm... not since last night.

So you've been out here all on your own all day?

I went into town.

OK, just tell him to call me if you see him, OK?

( Engine starts )

( Car door closes )

Eh, Koo-koo.

Why are you here?

You wanted me here.

I did.

But now I'm stressing about Ivy and I'm fighting with Matt.

And I hate it when he's right. And, Papa, he's right.

About what?

About... you.

It wasn't just alcohol or you being flirty.

You have to piss on everything.

But you can't have this.

This is mine.

I don't follow you.



She's not one of your one-nighters.

She's my mother-in-law.

We're just friends.

Can you keep it that way?

Oh... Yes, I promise, I will. I will.

But you mustn't let Matt come between you and I, OK?

He doesn't understand me.

He doesn't understand us.

Come here, Koo-koo. Come on.

( Sighs )

Come on.

Oh, come here.

( Exhales ) I love you. Hmm?

We've gotta move out.

Mum and Carlito are...

Little Jimmy has gained weight and he's stabilising, so we're gonna get a transition and then we can go.

Oh, this is amazing. ( Laughs )

Oh, he slipped off.

It's OK. He'll get better at latching.


You both will.

There we go. ( Giggles )


Hey, little man.

... did you hear me?

Sorry, what?

We're not living at the homestead while men are trying to get their hooks into Mum and Matt's taking a stand as well.

Oh, look, he's trying!

It's not about where we live, it's about respecting Dad.

Just keep him pushed up a bit.


Yeah... Ouch.

Oh... Is he getting any?

Yeah, it looks like it.

So, you're on our side, right?

What? Yeah, of course.


Meryl's got another man?


Off you go.

( Knock at door )

Betty: Great news.

The WIRES rep is in Noosa, so we get to keep the wombat till she gets back.

Oh, yay!

And somebody just dropped off this little fella.

Oh... a possum.

When you look into their eyes, you see just how trusting and vulnerable they are.

I know someone who might be a bit vulnerable right now.

So, Hugh's changed his mind about co-parenting with Harriet.

Well, maybe that's a gift.

You know, Hugh gets to do everything he missed out on the first time around with April...

Where's Hugh?

Somebody downloaded the stent video before I took it down. It's gone viral.

And Penny, I'm so sorry, you're a gif.

Oh, look, it's pissing everywhere!

It's had over 100,000 views.

#whyhopewhizzywombat is trending.

And look, internet's gone crazy over Penny's gifs.

There are all these different versions of it.

Mmm... Wombatdoc, Pennyforprez, Ur-ine Trouble, Weetoo?


People are so bored.

Oh, maybe it'll die down soon.

We've worked so hard trying to set up this cockpit and now our reputation is mud.

Hugh's going to kill me.

Why? Why didn't I just turn away?

Because your boss was getting a golden shower from a marsupial.

Mi-moo, I should resign.

( Playful music )

( Laughs )



I'm sorry.

Yes, I believe him. He said he was gonna stay away from Meryl.

Charlie, no.

He was so vulnerable, Matt.

I actually think he's really lonely.


Would it be so bad if they stay for a while?

Every time, you drink the Kool-Aid.

He said you would do this.

What is this hold that he has on you?

Why is it all Carlito? Your mum's the dodgy one.

I should be warning my dad against your corrupt mother.



I just wanted to extend an invitation to you all, Carlito and Ivy to a barbecue tonight, a conciliatory gesture, if you will.

We'd love to.

What about you, mopey?

Sorry. Can't.

He's just grieving in his own funny way.

It's not funny.

7:00 sharp.

Hugh: Hey!

Next time you want to barge into my clinic and cause a shit-storm in front of my investors, don't.

Oh, you don't like it when someone interferes in your work?



Oh, you can't compare me ordering canola with you ruining my career and jeopardising the funding for the stent.

( Mock-snores )

Oh... and why don't you care about Carlito? Ajax does.

'Cause Mum told me to stay out of it.

He's taking advantage of her.

( Scoffs ) You really have nothing to worry about.

I have everything to worry about.

In fact, I have everything that you can't be bothered worrying about to worry about.


You palm everything off onto me.

Too-hard basket. Matt will fix it.

Just tell me you put those seeds in the ground today.



You want canola, you plant canola!

I knew I shouldn't have come back.

♪ La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la... ♪

You've been looking into that beer for the last half-hour.

Can you order a hit on someone?

I'm kidding. Sort of.

You need an ear?

What? You don't trust me?

Should I?


Just feeling sort of robbed at the moment.


I don't have a father anymore.

I want to be a father but I don't have kids and my father-in-law's a...

Never mind.

sh1t. That's pretty heavy.

Hey, maybe you need to just feel the feelings.

Just let them be there for a bit.

That's what my therapist says.

Hey, um, thanks for looking out for us with the...

The licence thing.

I was wearing a wire.

You're busted.

( Both half-laugh )



You promised you wouldn't do this again.

But you said...

Where's Matt?


Off somewhere, not dealing with his feelings.

Ah. Knew I liked you for a reason.

I saw your stent video in the staffroom today.

Oh, Penny was so cute.

Don't even, alright?

( Laughs )

We are a laughing stock.

( Laughs )

Look at you two.


You make me 'saddad' for your past love.


Yeah, it's, uh... it's Portuguese for, um...

How do I explain it?

Um, a deep missing...


Uh, it's, uh...

The love that remains for someone, even after they've gone.

Yeah. It's happiness and sad all at once.

Sadness for the missing and happiness for, well, being lucky enough to once experience it.

And if you hadn't broken my daughter's heart, I would love you even more, Hugh.



You OK, Ivy?


Who were you on the phone to?


She's OK. Teenagers, Koo-koo. Teenagers.

I don't think she's OK, Papa.

( Doorbell rings )

Meryl: Oh.

I'll get it.

And I, uh...

I'll get another bottle of wine, OK?

They're not...

( Scoffs )

Are they?

Only in Matt and Ajax's head.

Meryl Knight, I've always admired your razor-sharp wit and your come-hither sensuality.

Now, let no-one say you are now a burden to society.

Let me be your protector and guide you into the light.

And if we enjoy a little rumpy-pumpy on the way, all luck to us.

What do you say?

Querida, red or white?

Oh, good evening. I'm Carlito.

And I'm...



Oh... OK.

( Birdsong )

( Siren wails )

( Matt laughs )

Everybody in Whyhope!

Everybody, wake up!

About to let your stock out! Whoo-hoo!

( Matt calls out )

Everybody, put your hands up!

You're under arrest for being sexy!

You have the right to remain silent.

Come out with your hands up and your pants down.



Look, it's my wife. Angry.

So angry. ( Strains )

What are you doing?

Sorry, Charlie. He, uh...

He needed to blow off some steam.

I will leave you to it.


Did you drive here?

You're drunk too.


But I know where all the RBTs are. Shh.


Make me some chips, because now that Jim's gone, I am the man of this house.

That's very mature, Matt.

You know, you haven't allowed yourself to grieve properly and now that your heart's finally breaking, you're just directing all of your sadness and anger outwards.

It's your dad, with his fancy tan.

( Boot thuds )

He's Portuguese.

He's trying to break our family up.

He's not! Hugh told me.

( Laughs )

Wake up, Charlie. Hugh's in on it.

( Boot thuds )

You know what I like about Darren?

He's a good listener.

He wants to have a baby one day...

Because, unlike some people, he knows that having a family isn't something to be afraid of.

Well, why don't you marry Darren, then?


( Rock music plays )

( Both laugh )

Man: You're so fluffy.

( Both laugh )

( Bottles clink )

Hello, gumboot lady.

Have you booked this tent?

( Laughs )

Who said you could be here?

Um... Ivy... Ivy.

At the chicken shop.

( Laughs )

Where is Ivy?



( Laughs )

Before, when it was still dark.

( Both laugh )




She's here.

Ivy? Wake up. What's wrong with her?

She's breathing.

Oh, it could be alcohol poisoning.

Let's get her up.

Hugh: Open your eyes, Ivy.

Can you hear me?

Open your eyes.

Poor respiratory effort. Let's prepare to intubate.

( Gasping )


Oh, here we go.

Here we go.

( Vomits )

That's it.

Mia: Oh...

Oh, God. I think I'm... I think I'm gonna...

Uh-uh-uh-uh. Don't you dare.


How are you feeling?

Like I've been hit by a truck.

I guess I was the one driving.

Are you drinking to forget your mum?

She was never on the Gold Coast.

She's been in Bali this whole time.


Did she say how long for?

Why won't she come home?

( Cries )

( Sniffs )

Hugh: Ivy.

Uh, you can be discharged.

Um, do you want to come and do the paperwork?

Of course.

I really hope Sunshine comes to her senses soon.

It's just not fair...

I have a baby.


Well, will have a baby.


( Exhales )


Oh, my God.


Oh, my God!

Did you mean to?

What? No. Of course not.

And are you gonna...



What, you're actually gonna parent it?

Well, I kind of have to, in some way.

The chances of Harriet pulling a Sunshine move are relatively high.


( Exhales )

God, remember our scare?

I was so sure I was pregnant.

Hard to forget, really.

You freaked out for, what was it, a week and a half?

Your weird calmness freaked me out.

Why were you so fine about it?

I just knew you weren't pregnant.

That's scientific.

Well, I was right, though, wasn't I?

Yeah, well, it was lucky.

God, imagine if we had.

( Laughs )

Just stay honest to that kid.

And don't tell Matt.

It'll break his heart.

( Strains )


Oi, get off that!

Oi! It's Dad's!

Now, your boys have really got to learn some manners.

How can you take advantage of my mum?

How do you know your mum wasn't taking advantage of me?

Get off it!

Hey, hey, hey, Ajax!

Hugh asked me to do this!

( Grunts )


Argh! Argh!


( Tuts )

Get off! Get off!

Come on. Up.

( Strains )

What's wrong?


Come on.

Ajax, what happened?

Well, your husband lost his mind and, uh...

( Winces )

... broke his wrist.

Scaphoid fracture.

How are you gonna look after Jimmy with one arm?

Oh, Ajax!



What would you do if, because of something you did, your boss became an unwitting internet sensation and started to attract the wrong kind of attention?

Asking for a friend.

What kind of attention?

Pervy, into urinary fetishes, redheads and fauna.

None of this is your fault.


Ken, Betty said the video's on YouTube again and that we're trending on Giphy, whatever the hell that is.

I thought you took it down.

I will fix this.

I will revive the clinic if it kills me.

Well, I've got a Skype meeting with the investors.

Let's just hope they pick up.


Mia, you were an intern in Belgium, weren't you?

I was a fully qualified nurse on exchange in Austria.


How's your German?

I've got a job for you two.

OK, stop it.

You have to look neat.

They're very big on neat.

Ken, trust me.

Well, that's exactly what I'm talking about.

And that's what makes it such a good selling point.

I mean, all publicity's good publicity, right?

But at the end of the day, it's the stent that matters and as you saw from our live stream, we...

We saved that patient's life.

And we could save many, many more like it if we just...

Bunker. The wombat's name is Bunker.

Oh, yes. Yes.

Of course we planned it. ( Laughs )

In fact, um, you know, the cardiac clinic has had global recognition.

We've had staff seek us out from all over the world because of the stent.


( Whispers ) You can do this.

Oh, look, in fact, here's one of our new nurses now.

Um, say hello, Mia.

( In german ) Hallo.

( Both laugh )


( Typing )

OK, you can't respond to every troll that leaves a nasty comment about us.

The investors seemed lovely.

What if they were just being polite?

At least we're top of mind.

Penny... ( Exhales )

They loved me.

They really loved me.

OK, Sally Field. I heard it was Mia that they loved.

Well, either way, who knew Germans had a sense of humour?

But we're back.

So we're not shut down?

Not in the least.


But I did have to promise to fly Bunker over for Oktoberfest.

( Phone rings )

Whyhope Hospital and Knight Cartwright Cardiac Clinic, running professionally as usual.

Ken speaking.

Dr. Cartwright?

Yes, she's real.

Yes, the wombat is real too.

It's 'The Breakfast Show'.

They want to interview you tomorrow.

Oh, this is great.

We could turn the whole thing around.

They only want the sexy ginger and the incontinent wombat.

Oh... Well...

Of course. Excellent. Yes.

( Betty laughs )

How's Ivy?

She's, uh, sleeping it off.


And are you hurt too?

No. No, I can look after myself.

Who started it, you or Ajax?

Let's just say we both got a little fired up.

Um, do you want a drink?




You know, seeing they're, uh, talking about us so much, why don't we...

Why don't we really give them something to talk about, huh? Hmm?

Carlito, no. This mustn't happen.

I'm no man's querida.


( Door opens )

( Door closes )

( Gasps ) sh1t!

I gotta go do the canola!

Yeah, you do.

Only, now it's night-time, because you slept all day.


I hate it when you're right.


( Footsteps recede )

Floyd: This is the best one.

( Knock at door )


How are you?

A successful gif, apparently.

Right. Well, um, I do love you on a loop.

( Half-laughs )

Hugh, why are you here?

Special delivery.

( Laughs ) How long did it take you to find that?

This little guy is very unwell.

He's had a really long day, needs a vodka, maybe some company.

I already have the perfect companion.

Yes, well, he is a very good conversationalist.

How's Harriet?




You made the right choice.

Thanks for stopping by.

( Exhales )

( Sighs )

Does it hurt?

No. It's just itchy.

Did it feel good clocking Carlito?


He shut the hell up for once.

( Laughs )

Dad would've done the same.

Dad would have run him over.

I think...

I think maybe I miss him.

Just a bit.

Yeah, so much.

You know what else?

Dad would have said to make Mum happy.

( Laughter )

Man: I laugh every time.

Woman: And where to now for the cardiac clinic, Dr. Cartwright?

Well, thanks to the publicity from that video and my gif, we've had lots of extra bookings.

Everybody's fallen in love with Bunker here but none more so than our stent's German investors, who've even pledged some extra development funding.

So, what about you?

Did you ever imagine you'd be the pin-up girl of Whyhope?

Well, as long as it encourages people to come into the hospital, meet a furry friend and get tested for heart disease, then we're all happy.

Wonderful. Thank you, Dr. Cartwright, and thank you, Bunker.


( Laughter )

I know you think this life is too small for querida's shoes.

What? No, I love it here.

Oh... No, you love the idea of loving it.

What's up?

Well, this is my home now.

And yes, it's an ordinary, quiet life but Matt and I have worked really hard for it.

I told you I was proud of you.

No, actually, you didn't.

You never liked being teased, did you, huh?

You just drain me!

Hey, I don't like this hardness in you, you know. Come on.


When Matt gives you a baby, your views will change, you'll see.

It happened to your mother.

Matt what?

Papa, I'll give you two weeks and then I want you to take Ivy and you go and find her mother.

You're absolutely right, as usual.

It's time to go.

But, hey, what a two weeks we're gonna have, huh?

Think of the fun, huh?


( Mouths word )

You haven't knocked yet?

We're working up to it.

So, what is this lunch thing anyway?

Some people she wants us to meet.

Oh, you came.

I thought maybe I'd gone too far.

You definitely have.

Us missing Dad shouldn't be a licence to act like idiots.

You can date who you want, Mum.

Mmm, we're sorry, Mum.

( Giggles )

Come in. Quick.

( Romantic music plays faintly )

Come and meet my fellows.

There's bloody three of them.

Glen, who you know...

Afternoon, folks.

... and, uh... oh, this is Milo, who's a stripper and David, a keen taxidermist.

She's covered every generation.

( Doorbell rings )

( Gasps ) Oh...


Betty: I'll get that.

Take a seat. Take a seat.

Yeah, nice.

I'll just grab some...



So, uh, gentlemen, these are your dates for this afternoon...

Thank God.

... and I hope the lonely hearts of Whyhope will, for, well, a reasonable cost, here find true romance.

And welcome. Welcome to Whyhope's newest matchmaking agency...


Country Connections.

For love really is the greatest healer.

If there's one thing, uh, Jim's passing has taught me, is that everyone deserves a match like ours.


I think we should drink to, uh...

To love.

( Pop! )


( People laugh )

Yes! Right. There you go.

( Birdsong )

( Exhales )

Dad's funeral Scotch.

Last bottle.

He was a grumpy prick most of the time, wasn't he?

'Mood erratic', I used to call it.

But he managed to keep it all together.

I have no idea how.

You're doing an admirable job picking up where he left off.

I think you call it 'patriarca'.

That's Portuguese.

Yes, I get it.

Never really liked that word.

Well, I'm sorry, darling. It suits you.

( Sighs )