04x18 - Strangers: Part Two

Previously on This Is Us...

Toby: Uh, he's here. It's a boy. He's really, really small.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Damon.

( Cheering, applause, whistling )

I'm pregnant.

( Laughs ): Lucy, oh, my God.

I'm not gonna do that trial, Randall.

Well, Mom, whatever you want to do, that's what we'll do.

Randall ( over phone ): I'm gonna ask you for something now.

Mom, you have to do this clinical trial.

♪ ♪

Okay. ( Shudders )

Anything?

Nothing.

They'll want to induce soon.

You're only a few days late.

What can I do?

I'm good, baby.

This one, however, has another request.

( Both chuckle softly )

( Sighs ) Anything in particular?

Hmm...

Everyone always wants to hear the hits.

Mm-hmm.

( Strums chord )

♪ Can one wrong turn ♪
♪ Give me new direction? ♪
♪ Can one false move ♪
♪ Bring me one true friend? ♪
♪ Could a stranger ever end up ♪
♪ Being you? ♪

Whoa.

( Neighing )

Whoa...

We took it back ♪

Whoa, son.

♪ In all directions... ♪

Whoa! Whoa!

How much you pay for that thing?

He was free.

Paid too much, you ask me.

( Neighing )

♪ Is there a message ♪
♪ A pathway, something more? ♪

... incredible distribution of light.

But I'll give you a moment to think about it.

♪ Oh, in the quiet way ♪
♪ You caught my eye ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ I got enough... ♪

Why, hello, Hailey.

I was just wondering if you've given any thought to the question I posed to you yesterday.

Zach, you're a really great guy.

I mean, you're probably my... best friend.

Can you get the pencils out of your nose, please?

But I think... that us going on a date right now would be a really bad idea.

You're hung up on that guy, aren't you?

Your famous big shot one-night stand?

At least tell me who it is. Is it a movie star?

Not someone too old for you.

Oh, my God.

Is it Leo?

Zach...

Welcome to the Kohn Gallery.

( Whispers ): It's a movie star.

Lucy: Jack?

That song is so good.

Aw, thanks, boo.

That's sweet of you to say after all this time.

Like, it's so good, I think you just made me start having contractions.

( Lucy sighing, groaning )

( Dog whines )

( Dog whines, barks )

Jack?

Yep, I'm coming.

( Barking )

( Jack exhales )

( Jack and Lucy whispering indistinctly )

( Lucy exhales )

Rebecca: Suit's on?

( Sighs ): Yes, ma'am.

Your birthday suit.

Only one I've got.

All right.

That is an incredibly bulky bathrobe.

If you think that I'm gonna stand in front of you naked in the daylight a year after giving birth to multiple children...

Them is the rules.

Well, the rules have changed. Have a cupcake.

Yeah, but I don't want a cupcake.

I want... ( Muttering )

( Laughing )

( Babies crying )

Oh, God.

( Sighs )

Well, maybe next year, slugger, 'cause it's their birthday, too, and... they can't really be ignored. Sorry.

All right, one-year-olds, Mommy's comin'.

( Babies continue crying )

♪ ♪

Okay, Bug, so now that the cake has set, we are gonna lay in the second layer of frosting.

All right.

We really need a full-on three-layer birthday cake for this guy, huh?

I'm pretty sure Jack would be happy mainlining sugar right off the counter.

Yeah, it's tradition, Toby.

Kate: Yeah.

Okay? It's the Big Three. There's three layers.

Rebecca: Uh-huh.

Toby: Well, Jacky Boy, it looks like it's three times the sugar rush for you.

Oh, that looks amazing, hon.

Da-da-da, no.

Jack, it's Mommy. Hi.

Miguel: Hey, when do, uh, Randall and the girls get in?

I don't know.

Kate: Um, later today.

But we probably won't see them till the party tomorrow, so...

And remember, we're doing cake and presents early tomorrow, 'cause, uh, in the afternoon... I'm not gonna say what it is.

Right.

But it's a... kind of a special...

Well, it's a secret thing just for the three of us.

Yeah.

( Rebecca laughs )

Rebecca: I thought that you were intermittent fasting.

What happened to that?

Miguel: Well, Miguel needs frosting.

Oh, they don't care about our secret thing.

No, they most certainly do not.

Okay.

But Jack does.

Don't you?

It's exciting!

( Jack laughs )

♪ ♪

Nicky: What?

Or, "Hey, nephew. Good morning.

Glad to hear from you".

What?

Look, I was just calling to say that I got your gift for Jack.

Well, least I could do. You did, after all, get me a luxury mobile home.

I mean, I got him a...

I got him those dopey white sneakers you always wear, you know, with the green backs on them.

Only, you know, in baby size.

Yeah, the Stan Smiths. Very thoughtful.

Which, by the way, you can just return and get something better, if you want.

I mean, it's no skin off my ass.

Nicky, they are perfect.

Yeah, I thought they were kind of cute, too.

You know, for...

a baby, not a grown man.

Okay.

Oh, you know, there are billboards of you all over town.

I think it's an ad for your nipple?

Uh, it's a cologne ad, okay? And people love it.

Hmm. Well, it always makes me laugh.

I think 'cause I know you.

All right, listen, I got to get into this meeting.

But, hey, tomorrow is my, uh, one-year sober.

My one-year is also Jack's birthday.

Oh?

Thought you might want to congratulate me.

I'll congratulate you tomorrow.

Okay. Well, I do miss your gentle touch.

Have a good meeting.

Thank you.

Gonna miss you so much.

I think you're just scared to take your first plane flight.

Also that, yeah.

( Both laugh )

Impressionable children coming through.

Keep it clean, people.

( Randall chuckles )

Hey, Beth! Come on, let's go!

Okay!

Sorry, sorry. You know black don't pack.

Is that a thing?

I don't know, I just came up with it.

( Randall chuckles )

Are the doors locked?

Gonna set the alarm.

Yep.

Got Mom some travel books about Saint Louis.

She's gonna be there for nine months.

She can get her barbecue on.

Mm-hmm.

What'd you say?

I said, "Mm-hmm".

( Chuckles ): It's... it's a noise.

Yeah, it's a noise that you make any time I bring up my mom going to Saint Louis.

Set the alarm.

( Buttons beeping )

All right, we got 30 seconds before this place self-destructs.

Let's hit it!

Hey, Beth, do you not think the clinical trial is a good idea?

I think that your mom made her decision.

I think the tactics you used to get her to change her mind are... "mmm".

I mean, did she even tell your brother that she changed her mind?

Because that's... that's gonna be something.

I think she's planning on telling all of us once we get out there.

( Beeping )

Don't say, "Mmm".

Look, I just hope you know what you're doing.

But you usually do, so...

Mm.

( Beeping continues )

All right?

Let's go!

( Groans ): Ah...

Just 'cause you're cute. That's all it is.

Automated voice: Alarm set.

"Abigail" for a girl?

Hmm.

They call her Abby, rhymes with "scabby", and she has a terrible life.

We should have just learned the s*x.

It would have eliminated half the awful options.

No, it'll come.

( Long exhale )

We both wanted it to be a surprise, remember?

You're right.

Jack.

We're having a baby today.

We're having a baby today.

Woman: Okay, how we doing?

You ready to get this little girl out into the world?

♪ ♪

( Chuckling ): Yeah.

They say that these are not the best of times ♪

( Indistinct, excited chatter )

♪ But they're the only times I've ever known ♪
♪ And I believe there is a time ♪
♪ For meditation ♪
♪ In cathedrals of our own ♪
♪ Now, I have seen that sad surrender ♪
♪ In my lover's eyes ♪
♪ And I can only stand apart ♪
♪ And sympathize ♪
♪ For we are always what our situations hand us ♪
♪ It's either sadness ♪
♪ Or euphoria ♪

♪ ♪

♪ So we'll argue and we'll compromise ♪
♪ And realize ♪
♪ That nothing's ever changed ♪
♪ For all our mutual experience ♪
♪ Our separate conclusions are the same ♪
♪ Now we are forced to recognize our inhumanity ♪
♪ A reason coexists with our insanity ♪
♪ Though we choose between reality and madness ♪

It's either sadness or euphoria ♪

( Chatter, babies crying )

Jack: Oh, hey, bud.

Hey, it's okay.

Check out this cake that Mom made, huh?

You okay?

( Crying continues )

I'm fine.

Go. And he is...

He's in. Look at him.

( Gasps )

Look at your shoes.

That's quite handsome.

All right, go show 'em off. Go show off your kicks.

All right.

Hey.

( Indistinct chatter )

Hi.

( Exhales )

( Beth chuckles softly )

Excuse me, ma'am, but your husband here...

Jackie, look at those shoes.

.. has been "oogling" me all day.

Is it "oogling" or "ogling", by the way?

Ogling.

You sure?

No.

Huh.

All right.

Okay, that's my cue.

I'm gonna go house some cake.

All right.

( Inhales deeply )

( Exhales )

We haven't really got a chance to talk since New York.

So...

( Sighs )

Randall, I know that you just wanted what's best for Mom.

And I also know that you wouldn't have asked her to do that trial if you hadn't done an insane amount of research.

I mean, like, Claire Danes in Homeland insane research.

I get that, but...

I want you to know where I'm coming from.

You know? I just...

Mom is in a really good place right now.

She's here with her family.

It's what she wants.

It's what's best for her.

( Pats leg )

Congrats, by the way.

What?

One year.

Thank you.

Toby: Does Baby Jack have an adorable outfit change, you ask?

( Laughs )

Uh, do skunks smell?

( Chuckling )

Hmm? ( Kissing )

Ladies, shall we?

( Chuckling )

Kate: Thanks, girls.

Um... ( Clears throat )

Guys, so I have, um...

I have a little bit of an announcement.

Uh...

Oh, damn.

I think I left my thing in the... That's odd.

Um...

I know in New York I told you boys that I was looking forward to enjoying however much time I have left.

But Miguel and I have been doing the research, and...

I have decided to do the clinical trial.

So, three weeks from now, Miguel and I are moving to Saint Louis.

For how long?

It's nine months.

But-but then we're gonna be back here with all of you.

Randall: We will come visit you as much as we can, Mom.

Yeah?

Whatever it takes.

Right, guys?

Thank you.

Thank you, sweetheart.

Yeah.

Appreciate that.

This is what you want?

Mm-hmm. Yep.

It is.

Well, then yeah.

You know? Yeah, of course. Whatever you want.

Rebecca: Thanks for understanding.

Of course.

Ooh. ( Exhales )

Whoa! Whoa. Whoa, whoa.

Didn't know 7:00 a.m. was amateur hour.

( Chuckles )

Cute. 'Cause I have a faint memory of teaching you everything you know.

Morning, baby.

Morning, Dad.

This new bay may be a lemon.

( Horse jerks )

Whoa.

( Sputters )

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa.

Sadie. Sadie.

Sadie: It's okay.

Hi. You're okay.

It's okay. Hey. It's okay.

Hey.

Let me take him.

Come on.

( Chuckles softly )

I love the way he uses color to challenge the eye.

You see? The juxtaposition of opposing colors.

It's just... it's so compelling.

( Watch buzzes )

If you'll excuse me.

Yeah.

( Exhaling )

Hey, will you cover for me?

Yeah, of course.

Okay.

Wait, where are you going?

Is it him?

It's him, isn't it?

I just don't get it.

I mean, Mom was so sure last week.

I know.

We had this whole talk when she came back from New York, and she said she was excited to spend time with Jack, to travel.

She said "carpe diem", like, 12 times. It was like...

Mm.

She didn't say anything to you, Randall?

No, she probably just sees the clinical trial as an investment in her future.

Oh...

( Snorts )

A what?

An investment in her future?

Yeah.

Yeah.

( Clears throat )

Question for you.

Yeah.

Do you get progressively weirder as you get older?

Is that what happened?

Of course. Yes, that's what's happening.

He gets weirder as he gets older.

Okay. So then when does it end?

Course that's what's going on.

Is it like you're gonna wake up one day and, like, you're Steve Buscemi?

( Laughs )

He's... That's... Steve Buscemi is, like...

That's his baseline.

( Laughs )

Okay.

When-when it comes to Randall.

His baseline.

Coming from you two pillars of normalcy over here.

Kevin: What are you talking about? We're normal.

Randall: You guys are freaks.

You hear that, Jack?

( Kate laughs )

That's the sound of the Big Three just teasing and laughing.

It's pretty much the most beautiful sound in all the land.

( Speaking indistinctly )


Hey, Kate.

Hi. Sorry. Kate.

Kate. Hi.

Yes? Hi.

Is it time to go see that guy about that thing?

Yes, it is time to see that guy about our... secret, special thing.

Cool.

Okay.

It's a special, secret thing just for the three of us, so...

Yeah.

Have fun with it.

( Exhales ) Enjoy it.

Nobody cares about our secret, special thing.

I know, babe.

I wonder what happened to change Mom's mind.

Hmm.

Kids are all down.

Took a while, with all that sugar coursing through their veins.

Thank you, babe.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

I've just been thinking a lot about their first year, Jack.

Kate's first tooth and...

Randall's first words.

Kevin's first steps.

But then I've been thinking a lot about what his firsts would have been, too.

Kyle.

( Sniffles )

We never even say his name.

It's like I can't... allow my brain to go there.

I mean, I can't even bear to watch the home movies of me when I was pregnant, because that's the only image I have...

Yeah. No, I know.

I think about him, too.

Yeah?

Yeah.

A lot.

I just...

I didn't know if there was something we were supposed to do.

Yeah.

I just knew that... thinking about him made me feel sad, and...

I-I didn't know what to do with that.

Me, too. ( Exhales )

( Sniffles )

( Sighs )

Hey, you up... for a ride?

Yeah?

( Knocking )

( Chuckles ): Well, isn't this a surprise?

Come on in.

( Rebecca laughs )

Yeah, well, it's their birthday, and, uh, they wanted to see you.

They couldn't shut up about it, honestly.

Well, I do leave an impression.

( Chuckles )

Gracious, they're getting big.

Yeah.

You want out of here.

( Rebecca laughs )

She does.

Jack: Mm-hmm.

Come here. I remember you, Kate. I've known you all your life.

( Groaning, breathing deeply )

♪ ♪

Okay, Jack.

Wow, do you remember this place?

Huh?

This is where you...

It's where you started. It's where it all started.

Yeah.

Ready?

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

( Toby makes whooshing sound )

Here we go.

You made it, buddy.

The Wall of Fame.

( Exhales )

"Yay!"

( Chuckles )

Here we go.

( Chuckles )

Ready?

Okay.

That's the picture.

Yeah.

( Chuckles ): Yeah. Yeah.

It's really strange, being back.

Toby: Yeah.

Hey, do you remember right after you woke up?

It was just...

It was just me and you right after the C-section.

Foggy. Not really.

( Monitor beeping steadily )

Hi.

It's a boy.

How big?

He's... small, but he has really good color and...

How big?

Two and a half.

Two...

He's small, Kate, and he's... and he's not breathing on his own yet.

But he is here.

Okay?

And I'm here.

And we're gonna get through this together.

All right? The three of us.

I haven't been the best version of myself this year, Kate.

And I'm sorry.

But I am still here.

The three of us... are here.

( Whispering ): Yes, we are.

But I don't know, you know?

Your whole life has been defined by family.

And I love that.

I-I love watching you all together.

( Chuckles softly )

And today, I was watching Randall and his daughters, I was watching you with your brothers, I was watching all of you, and I was thinking, "Doesn't Jack deserve that?"

Doesn't he deserve someone to spend his childhood with?

To lean on long after you and I are gone?

Toby, what are you saying?

I'm saying, don't you think our amazing little man...

( Jack babbles )

... deserves a sibling?

Kate: Toby, I...

I can't get pregnant again.

I mean, not with all the complications and...

I know.

... the risks.

No. I know. I know.

( Distant baby crying )

But the Pearsons have a pretty good track record with adoption, don't they?

What?

Dr. K.: So, you're having trouble thinking about the child that you lost, and you thought that the old man might have some words of wisdom.

Yeah, that's, uh... that's it in a nutshell. ( Chuckles )

Hmm.

I did the thing about the lemons already, right?

You did. You did. Uh...

( Babbles )

A year ago today.

Hmm. Damn.

'Cause that was a good one.

( Chuckling )

Yeah. It had a... sizable impact on our lives.

Jack: Mm-hmm.

( Rebecca laughs )

( Rebecca sighs )

I-I think I told you last year, Jack, that my wife and I lost our first child.

Yeah, mm-hmm.

Well, imagine me way back then, if you can, full of hope, full head of hair...

( Jack and Rebecca chuckle )

.. expecting my first child.

( Laughs )

I used to sing to my wife's pregnant belly.

Never had much of a voice, but that didn't stop me.

My go-to was, uh, "Blue Skies".

You know that one?

Uh...

♪ Blue skies smilin' at me ♪
♪ Nothin' but blue skies ♪
♪ Do I see ♪
♪ Bluebird singin' a song ♪
♪ Nothin' but blue skies ♪
♪ From now on. ♪

I sang that song every day to my unborn child.

And then we lost that child.

For the first month after that, my wife and I would... sit in our den and listen to that song on our scratchy old record player over and over and over again.

It made us so sad.

It was like we were punishing ourselves.

Yeah.

But then one day, my wife got pregnant again.

And to my great surprise, I found myself singing that very same song to that very same belly.

And then, 25 years later, I'd dance with my daughter to that song at her wedding.

That song. Ah.

It made us happy, it made us sad, it made us happy again.

The whole human experience just wrapped up in that one... song.

Hospitals are kind of like that, you know.

These bizarre buildings where people experience some of their greatest joys and... some of their most awful tragedies. All under one roof.

I think the trick is... not trying to keep... the joys and the tragedies apart.

But you kind of got to let 'em cozy up to one another. You know, let 'em coexist.

Hey, Toby, our marriage barely survived the year.

We have a son with special needs, we have a crazy mortgage, and adoption comes with risks.

You know? I just think we're setting ourselves up for a major body blow here.

Yeah, maybe being in the NICU just made us emotionally high.

I mean, will we even really want this once we've left the parking lot?

Probably not.

Yeah.

( Engine starts )

Dr. K.: And I think that if you can do that, if you can manage to forge ahead with all that joy and heartache mixed up together inside of you, never knowing which one's gonna get the upper hand...

All right, we're out of the parking lot.

Yeah.

I still want it.

Me, too.

Well, there you have it.

( Laughs )

Boy or girl? Boy or girl?

Ma'am?

It's okay.

She's my sister.

It's a girl.

Oh, thank God.

( Laughing )

Let me see my niece.

Oh. ( Laughs ) Yes!

( Drumming steering wheel rhythmically )

( Laughs )

Dr. K.: And, well, life does have a way of shaking out to be more beautiful than tragic.

Not as good as the lemon thing, but it's the best I can do at short notice.

( Rebecca and Jack laugh )

It's pretty good.

Yeah.

( Clicks tongue ) Come on, George. Come on.

( Clicks tongue ) Come on.

( Clicks tongue ) He was cooped up in a small pasture with three other horses before we found him.

You're asking him to be still when all he wants to do is run.

Come on, George.

Little early to give up on him, don't you think?

You haven't even given him a chance to be himself yet.

Whoa. Come on. There you go.

You're getting too tall and too smart.

I got to shower and head to the office.

Okay.

I love you, honey.

Love you.

( Sighs )

Okay.

And how are we feeling today?

Same... really.

I'll take "same" every day.

Oh, blood work looks good.

Everything seems...

Sorry. ( Sighs )

I just still can't believe I'm here.

Uh, bulimia.

I didn't have my period for years.

They told me I'd probably never have children.

Well... you definitely proved them wrong.

Madison, this is your... third appointment alone.

Is there anyone you can... ?

I haven't told anyone.

I'm, um...

I'm not close with my family, and, um, I only have one good friend, and I can't tell her.

I told a barista at Starbucks.

He was not invested.

And the father... ?

We barely know each other.

Actually, the only thing I definitively know about him is that he... comes from a long line of great love stories.

And this...

This would not be what he wants.

There's no way he'd...

There's no way he'd want this.

Little early to give up on him.

No?

You haven't even given him a chance to be himself yet.

Hey, Mom.

Hey, sweetheart.

We were just about to, uh, show Beth and the girls Hollywood Boulevard and the, um... the... the footprints.

Footprints, yeah.

Yeah.

Did you get enough to eat?

Uh, no. Movie stars never get enough to eat, Mom.

Have I taught you nothing?

( Laughs )

Silly.

Mom, you know, I was really surprised about your announcement earlier. I just...

You-you seemed so adamant in New York, you know.

No, I-I-I know. I, um...

I guess when I really started to think about it, I...

Mm, I just had a change of heart, that's all.

It's a big change of heart, though.

I think I just came to... view it as... a-an investment in my future.

What did you say?

Rebecca: Hmm? What?

That's what Randall said.

Oh.

Hey, Kevin?

Hey, Rebecca, what do you say we get out of here and go see those Hamptons?

No, I...

Rebecca.

Let's get Miguel and the girls and just clear out. Okay?

Hey, Miguel? Girls?

Okay.

What'd you say to her?

Sorry?

Oh, no. Like hell you are.

What did you say to Mom to convince her to go to Saint Louis?

I have no idea what you're talking...

Don't do that.

I did whatever I needed to do to give our mother the best possible chance.

You couldn't do it, huh?

You just... you couldn't let her side with me, Randall.

( Chuckles )

Did you just say I couldn't let her side with...

You know what, man?

We're not doing this. Yeah.

No, like hell we're not.

She was clear about what she wanted.

She was clear, Randall, that whatever good time she had left, she wanted to spend with her family.

And whenever that good time inevitably comes to an end, Kevin, every one of you will regret not having fought for more of it.

Don't do it. Don't walk away.

Randall.

Randall.

Randall. Hey, hey.

What, man?

Man, take your hand off me.

Oh, what are you gonna do, huh?

What are you gonna do, Randall?

I'm not some out-of-shape purse snatcher.

You gonna sucker punch me?

( Doorbell rings )

I did what I needed to do to help our mother.

Okay?

Yeah. Regardless of what she wanted, right?

Regardless of what she needed.

( Doorbell rings )

( Exhales, mutters )

Who the hell is it?

What?

Hey.

Sorry I'm late for the party.

This is really not a good time, Madison.

Actually, it's a perfect time. I'm taking a walk.

Randall.

What's going on?

Where is everyone?

This is literally the exact definition of "not a good time".

Kevin... ( Exhales ) we need to talk, and... we need to do it now, before I lose my nerve.

Look. ( Exhales ) Just, I'm... I'm not sure what we need to talk about, honestly, okay?

Uh, look, you were lonely.

I get that. I was, uh, heartbroken.

And I don't know why we have to relitigate the whole stupid thing. I just...

You know, we made a mistake...

I'm pregnant, Kevin.

You're the father.

It's the question I would ask.

And... you are.

I'm sorry.

( Exhales )

I know I am a complete stranger to you.

I am just your sister's friend.

And... I honestly know nothing about you, other than how much you love your high school girlfriend.

I've decided I'm gonna go through with this.

You don't know my medical history, but this is kind of a miracle for me.

But I need you to know I will not ask anything of you.

Emotionally, financially... all of it.

You can still find the great love story you deserve.

Madison.

I think I might pass out.

I'm just... I'm gonna... I'm not walking away from this conversation, okay?

I just... I need a minute to...

Yeah. No.

I'm sorry.

Just...

One second.

( Sniffs )

( Exhales )

( Breathing heavily )

You know what, Kev, I'm not gonna walk away from this.

Randall, please, I can't do this right now.

You think you know what's best for her because you spent a day with her?

Because you took her to a movie premiere?

I think I know what's best for her because she told us, Randall, and you took that from her.

How dare you, man?

How dare you waltz in here after 40 years?

How dare... ( Groaning )

No, no, no. How dare I what?

How dare you pretend that you give a rat's ass about what anybody else wants other than you?

You want Mom to spend more time with the family because you want to spend more time with her.

You want Mom to decide with you.

You, you, you.

Are you kidding me right now?

This is about me?

Huh.

This isn't about me, Randall. This is about you.

It's not about Mom. It's about you wanting to save Mom.

You have no idea.

That's what this is about.

You have no idea what you're talking about, Kevin.

You have no idea what it means to actually take care of people.

Oh, yes. Oh, exactly. Because I left, right?

Because I left and you stayed and played martyr.

I stayed, and I took care of our family, man.

Well, you did a good job taking care of Dad, didn't you?

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

You want to do this now?

Please. By all means.

You want to do this now, finally, after all these years?

Let's do it. You know, this whole narrative that you keep spinning, this narrative that you took care of the family, where the hell did that come from? Huh?

'Cause all I know is, if I had been there, Mm-hmm.

I would've walked through literal fire, and I would've pulled that man out.

Mm.

Well, Kev, I guess we'll never know, because you weren't there.

And he died ashamed of you.

And I think... I think that's the part that really gets you, isn't it?

The shame that he felt for you and the pride that he felt for me.

I mean, you're not even chasing Dad's shadow, Kevin.

You're chasing mine.

But you'll never be him and you'll never be me, because you'll never know what it's like to devote yourself to anyone other than yourself.

You'll pretend, but it'll just be a performance.

A tired, stale performance.

Like all of your performances.

You know, I used to think the worst thing that happened to me was the day that Dad died.

It's the day they brought you home.

Hand to God, Randall, the worst thing that ever happened to me was the day they brought you home.

( Car door opens )

( Car door closes )

( Engine starts )

Dr. K: ♪ Blue skies ♪
♪ Smilin' at me ♪
♪ Nothin' but blue skies ♪
♪ Do I see ♪

( Phone buzzes )

♪ Bluebirds ♪
♪ Singin' a song ♪
♪ Nothin' but blue skies ♪
♪ From now on ♪

( Knocking )

Hey, old man.

We got a meeting to hit.

Kevin.

♪ Never saw the sun ♪
♪ Shinin' so bright ♪
♪ Never saw things goin' ♪
♪ So right ♪
♪ Noticing the days hurrying by ♪
♪ When you're in love ♪
♪ My, how they fly ♪
♪ Blue days ♪
♪ All of them gone ♪
♪ Nothin' but blue skies ♪
♪ From now on. ♪

♪ ♪

( Sighs )

I'm so sick of chasing ghosts.

I'm tired of doubting myself.

I'm all in, Madison.

Whatever you need, I am all in.

♪ ♪

How are you?

Kevin: I want this.

And maybe I-I didn't think it would...

( Exhales )

I want to be a father.

I think I'd be great at it.

( Whispers ): Hi, Mom.

The love of my life will be my child.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, kiddo. How are you?

Children.

It's twins, Kevin.

Hey, baby.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm okay.

♪ ♪

What's her name?

♪ ♪

Jack jr.: Hope.

Her name is Hope.