05x17 - The Ghosts of the Past

( dramatic music )

I'm a horrible person, aren't I?

No, you're human.

After inseminating the eggs, none of them fertilized.

You can start another cycle in as little as six weeks.

I'll do it.

It must have been an agonizing decision, turning in Hannah.

I think you did the right thing.

Hannah, I was just...

Go and don't come back again.

Go!

Go! Go!

You're officially in remission.

♪ ♪

If you had one wish, right now, what would it be?

Spend the rest of my life with you.

You know, you better not be playing with me, because, you know, I'd marry you tomorrow.

Finally.

What's the big emergency? I-I'm late for work.

Sorry to inconvenience you, Dan, but your daughter was sent home from school, suspended.

What?

For vaping.

God, Susie.

Uh-uh-uh-uh.

No, no, no, no, no. This one's your fault.

How's it my fault?

Because you've been neglecting her.

I'm not the one who moved to Milwaukee.

Okay, whatever you say... Look, the point is, we've been back in Chicago almost a year, and the past six months, you found excuses not to see her on the weekends, you beg out of picking her up after school.

Yeah.

Look, I, uh... I've been a little distracted.

You know, with, um, with Cece and everything, um...

I'm sorry your wife died, Dan, I am.

But you have a 13-year-old daughter who's very much alive.

( sighs ) Is she in her room?

Where else?

( quiet dramatic music )

♪ ♪

It's Dad. Can I come in?

I'm coming in.

♪ ♪

She took my phone.

Vaping? Really?

You know it's gonna kill you, right?

You know I don't care, right?

Get your schoolwork. You're coming with me.

Where?

Work.

The hospital?

Yeah.

It's father-daughter day. And we're late.

Come on, get your stuff.

♪ ♪

This is so stupid.

Yeah. You can say that again.

The Opal Room will let us start setting up at noon.

No problem, I can be there then.

No, you're gonna be at the tailors, trying on your tux.

I can't believe you got all this done in two weeks.

It's handled.

Maggie.

I am your maid of honor. I should do something.

Well...

What?

Nothing.

( phone chimes )

The DJ will start setting up at 5:00.

Ah, Mags, I'm sorry. I gotta run.

Okay, bride's dressing room at 6:00, okay?

Yes, ma'am.

All right.

What'd you think about my playlist?

You won't mind if I make changes, right?

( knocks on door )

Ms. Remus, hi.

I'm Dr. Manning. And you must be Mindi.

Hi.

Hi.

According to our chart, you're no stranger to the ED.

Mindi was premature.

She's had a lot of health issues.

I see. Respiratory distress syndrome.

She has trouble breathing, so I keep her on oxygen.

Hmm. Well, she's satting well, 100%.

What brought you in today?

She isn't sleeping.

It's even harder for her to breathe.

And this morning, she was just staring at a wall, which always happens when she has a seizure.

Right, well, why don't we take a look?

I'm gonna listen to your lungs, okay?

Okay.

Can you sit up a little bit for me?

Great, now, take a deep breath in.

( breathes deeply )

Good.

How about one more?

( breathes deeply )

Great. Well, her lungs sound good.

She's alert.

I'm not seeing any sign of seizures now, but we'll run some tests to see what's going on.

Let's get a chest X-ray, CBC, BMP, and let's check her Keppra level.

I just want to make sure she's on the appropriate dose.

I'll be back when we have some answers, okay?

Dr. Manning, do you know Dr. Strauss?

I don't think we've actually met yet.

You're in peds, right?

I specialize in medical child abuse.

When Mr. Remus brought her daughter in this morning, it set off an alert.

An alert?

She's been red-flagged at several hospitals in the city.

Why?

We have every reason to believe she's been abusing her daughter.

( dramatic music )

♪ ♪

I gotta stop by the cleaners after work...

Pick up my suit for Maggie's wedding.

That's right.

Whoa. Hey, you okay?

Yeah, I just got a little lightheaded.

I'm fine.

You sure?

Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure.

Okay.

( soft dramatic music )

♪ ♪

( gulps )

♪ ♪

( retches )

( coughs )

( gasps )

( panting )

( groans )

♪ ♪

You can, um... you can sit at my desk and do your homework, okay?

Don't I get to see any crazy people?

Anna, how many times have we talked about you using that word?

And no, you don't get to see my patients.

What's the point of me being here, Dad?

What's the point?

The point is, you've been suspended, and you gotta do your homework, that's the point.

You know, I bet it's not even father-daughter day, is it?

You just said that so you could keep me in jail.

( cell phone buzzes )

Wow, you are so smart.

So do your homework.

Look, I gotta go. But I will be back.

And you and I are gonna have a little talk, okay?

Later.

( door clicks shut )

( machine beeps )

Dr. Choi, Dr. Marcel.

GSW coming in. A cop.

( alarm blares )

Going to Baghdad.

John Bell, early twenties.

GSW lower right quadrant.

Stripped his body armor in the ambo.

Hang in there, Johnny.

BP 110/82, heart rate 104.

Sats 100%.

Doris, with me.

Yeah.

Mike, gonna need an X-ray.

KUB and chest.

Let's transfer on my count.

Johnny's a hero... He drew fire away from a ten-year-old girl.

We got him, Rosado.

Everybody ready? One, two, three.

( screams ) It hurts!

Single lateral gunshot wound.

No exit wound. Likely retained the bullet.

( grunting )

All right, bilateral breath sounds.

( yells )

Sorry about that.

Focused lower right quadrant pain.

Let's get that lateral X-ray first.

Clear.

( X-ray clicks )

( grunts )

Retained bullet in the posterior lateral.

Definitely transabdominal.

That's enough for me.

Okay, Officer Bell, we're gonna take you up for surgery, okay?

Okay.

All right, Doris.

Let them know we're coming up.

Yup.

Let's move.

How is he?

He is one of mine. Do not give me any of that HIPAA crap.

Trudy.

Officer Bell's vitals are good, but the bullet's in a dangerous spot.

We gotta get him to surgery.

Do we need Father Dan?

We're hoping no.

Hey, keep me in the loop on this one.

Why don't you scrub in with me?

I understand you know your way around a gunshot wound.

Come on.

♪ ♪

Dr. Charles, we have a possible case of Munchausen by proxy.

I believe Ms. Remus is either faking her daughter's symptoms or causing them to get attention for herself.

I-I just... I don't think that's the case.

I mean, I spent time with her, she seems like a normal, concerned parent.

This little girl, Mindi, certainly has been hospitalized a lot.

Based on vague symptoms which somehow health care professionals don't see.

Well, just hold on a second.

I mean, Mindi was diagnosed with bronchopulmonary dysplasia.

When she was an infant.

She's four now, her mom's still bringing her in for nebulizer treatments.

Yeah, she's on a tremendous amount of medication, I will say that.

Which could be necessary, given her history.

Well, let's not argue the case until we have more information.

Dr. Manning, let us know if her test results support the symptoms her mother is describing.

And Dr. Charles, you'll need to evaluate Ms. Remus.

If my suspicions are correct, then for Mindi's well-being, we're gonna need to get DCFS involved.

What are you getting?

Hmm.

Look who's back.

( machine beeps )

I wouldn't want her operating on me.

Nobody asked you.

( machine beeps )

( object clunks )

( machinery beeping )

Between Afghanistan and Chicago, I'm guessing you've seen all kinds of GSWs.

Mostly high-velocity overseas, handguns here.

Either way, a world of loss.

Bullet went through the cecum.

Need to repair. 2-0 silk to me.

Whoa, hold on.

Ethan, you see that bulge?

Yeah, large mass.

Hematoma?

No, too far from the bullet track to be related.

Okay, well, let's have a look-see... scalpel.

( tense music )

( pus oozes )

It's an abscess.

What the hell from?

♪ ♪

Something foreign.

It must've caused the abscess.

♪ ♪

Ethan, what do you make of this?

See if he's got scars on his flank.

♪ ♪

Yep.

And right next to it?

Entrance and exit wounds.

Today wasn't the first time this patient was shot.

How can you be so sure?

Seen this before.

He was sitting in a car when it happened.

So this?

This is foam from a car seat.

♪ ♪

( knocking on door )

Hi.

The test results come back?

Yes. Everything was negative.

Nothing abnormal.

That's great.

What's wrong with her?

I'm not sure.

Does she have a fever?

No, ma'am.

♪ ♪

Something is wrong with her. She's just not herself.

Mommy?

It's okay, baby.

Mommy's okay.

( low dramatic music )

I'm sorry, it's just, trying to take care of her...

Let's order an EEG.

See if she's having subclinical seizures.

Thank you.

♪ ♪

( sighs )

Ah!

April?

( yelling in pain )

Whoa.

You all right?

( screams )

All right, all right.

We got her.

( Gasping )

( groaning in pain )

We got you.

( suspenseful music )

Two milligrams morphine IV.

Right.

April.

What do I need to know?

I'm doing IVF.

Okay, so you're on hormones?

( groaning )

I'm gonna palpate your belly.

( yelling )

Ow!

Sorry.

BP and heart rate are normal.

( gasping in pain )

Okay, diffuse tenderness, once on the left side.

CBC, BMP, and hCG.

April, this could be ovarian torsion or a cyst.

I'm gonna send you to gyne for an ultrasound. Hank?

Let's go!

I'll call gyne.

Hold on.

Page Dr. Asher, tell her I want her to personally do this ultrasound on a colleague.

Right.

Honey, I'm so sorry, I gotta dash right back out here, there's something going on.

That's an antique.

I'm doing geography.

Yeah, real funny.

So, look, um... Very limited selection.

But they did have your favorite, barbeque potato chips, which are gonna go great with this delicious tuna sandwich.

Gee, Dad, what do you think would go best with this?

♪ ♪

You went through my desk?

I finished all my homework. What else was I supposed to do?

Honey, my desk is private.

I mean, how would you feel if I, uh, you know, went through your backpack?

Well, you wouldn't find any alcohol in there.

And you get on my case about vaping?

That's pretty hypocritical.

Look, that was a gift.

Right.

Hey, look.

I'm an adult of legal drinking age.

And you... you're a kid.

So let's talk about vaping, shall we?

Oh, my God.

Every week, into this hospital, we have kids your age coming with their lungs destroyed.

Here we go.

I'm trying to have a serious talk with you, young lady. If you're gonna sass back everything I say... We're not talking.

You're lecturing me.

Well, maybe there's a reason for that.

♪ ♪

Look, just...

♪ ♪

Read a book or something.

♪ ♪

Please.

( dramatic music )

♪ ♪

( sighs deeply )

Your ultrasound showed bilateral enlarged ovaries with good flow.

There's no indication of torsion or a hemorrhagic cyst.

Then what?

You do have some fluid in your abdomen.

That coupled with the pain and nausea point to a mild case of OHSS, ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome.

It's consistent with IVF. From the hormones.

I'm going to start you on some IV fluids and albumin.

Continue the pain meds.

Usually, this resolves with time, so we'll wait and watch.

Thank you.

Okay.

( quiet tense music )

♪ ♪

Hannah.

Glad to see you back.

♪ ♪

I know rehab wasn't easy.

Let's just focus on your patient.

♪ ♪

So you didn't find any other bullet or shrapnel?

Nothing metallic on this X-ray?

No, ma'am, just today's GSW.

But you're sure he was shot before?

I don't see any other explanation.

Well, any firearm injury is a mandatory report.

It's not in his history, and his partner doesn't know anything about it.

Look, he did save a little girl's life.

I mean, the man's a hero.

I say we leave it alone.

We can't leave it alone.

We have a legal obligation.

But I agree, we don't want to raise any red flags if we don't have to.

So, when the patient wakes up, talk to him.

Hopefully, there's...

( knocking on door )

Yes?

Sorry to interrupt.

But, Dr. Choi, you should know, April's not well.

What?

Dr. Halstead's treating her.

It's okay.

Go, I got this.

♪ ♪

She's tachycardic, sats down to 94.

( panting ) I cannot breathe.

Doris, cannula.

Okay, abdomen's distended.

Bedside ultrasound.

April, what's going on?

Ethan...

OHSS.

( suspenseful music )

Okay.

Okay.

♪ ♪

Ascitic fluid's irritating the diaphragm.

That's why you're having a hard time breathing.

She needs paracentesis.

And a dose of albumin.

Excuse me, I'm treating this patient.

You?

Yes, Dr. Asher is treating her.

She's already given April the albumin.

♪ ♪

Okay, April. I am going to numb the area.

Baby, we're gonna drain the fluid from your belly, okay?

Okay, you're not going to do anything.

Please go.

I'm not going anywhere.

♪ ♪

Ethan.

You know you shouldn't be here for this.

Ethan, go, it's okay, go.

No, no, no, no.

I'll be okay.

♪ ♪

We got it.

Okay, April, ready?

♪ ♪

Okay.

( panting )

♪ ♪

You're doing great. All right, we got 10 cc's.

That's it, keep breathing.

♪ ♪

We got 35, almost at 40.

♪ ♪

Okay.

( Sighs )

Good job, Dr. Asher.

♪ ♪

Breathing's easier.

Doris, keep pressure.

Mm-hmm.

April, I'll come check on you in a bit, okay?

Okay.

Dr. Asher performed the paracentesis, and it went well.

April's stable.

You can go in now.

Hannah.

Hmm?

You understand... I couldn't let you keep treating patients.

I had to make your addiction known.

Publicly? So everyone knew?

You have any idea how humiliating it's been?

There was no other way.

If I just turned you in, you'd deny it.

I had to make sure they had evidence.

No, what you did was a betrayal.

You're an excellent doctor. I believe in you.

I wasn't about to let you throw your life away.

♪ ♪

And if I had to do it over, I'd do the same thing.

♪ ♪


Hey, guys? The shears don't go there.

They have to be at the head of the aisle so I can walk through them.

Hey, sweetie.

Hey, how you doing, babe?

What are you doing here?

You're supposed to be at the tailors.

Already been.

They're letting out the slacks.

Oh.

So, what can I do to help?

Nothing.

Oh, Palacio!

I got your orchids.

There's a problem.

What? ( gasps )

They were left on the tarmac at O'Hare.

Frost damage.

They're ruined.

Yeah.

We can deal with this.

( sighs )

How about you pick out a replacement?

On us.

Here. Daisies.

Very popular wedding flower.

Daisies?

How about...

Babe, I've got this.

So I just reviewed the EEG on Mindi Remus.

I see no evidence she had subclinical seizures or any epileptiform activity.

Are you sure?

Am I sure?

Only an incompetent would prescribe anti-seizure medication for her.

Anything else?

No, thank you, Dr. Abrams.

Okay, so are we ready to turn this over to DCFS?

You know, I'm not quite.

Well, I am.

What do you suggest?

If we're accusing Ms. Remus of faking her daughter's symptoms, why don't we just take Mindi off of oxygen and see how she does?

What do we have to lose, really?

Are we in agreement?

( sighs )

All right, then.

Hey.

He's awake?

Yeah. How's April?

She's okay.

Glad to hear it, man.

( monitors beeping steadily )

Hey, John?

( Groans )

Hey, man.

( sighs )

Operation went well. How you feeling?

Okay.

Good.

So we need to ask you some questions.

You up to it?

♪ ♪

Before today, have you ever been shot?

Shot?

No.

We found two scars on your side.

How'd you get those?

Oh.

Yeah.

When I was a kid...

I was, you know, play sword fighting.

I got jabbed.

Officer Bell, I'm sorry, but that's just not consistent with what we found.

There was a piece of car seat foam in your abdomen.

So what?

We see that in people who've been shot while sitting in a car.

That didn't happen.

Then can you help us understand how that foam could've gotten in there?

Look, I don't care what you think you found.

I've never been shot.

♪ ♪

Right.

♪ ♪

Excuse us, man.

( quiet dramatic music )

♪ ♪

Ms. Remus, this is Sharon Goodwin, our Executive Director of Patient Services, and Dr. Strauss, a pediatrician.

Is something wrong?

Please, have a seat.

So, Mindi's EEG came back normal, which is a good thing.

Problem is, it leaves us no closer to a diagnosis.

Which is why it would be helpful for us to take Mindi off oxygen and see how she does.

But she needs it.

And that's what we're going to find out.

And if she has any trouble breathing, we will immediately put her back on it.

But we need your permission.

You do want to help your daughter, don't you?

Of course I do.

♪ ♪

Okay.

♪ ♪

Hey, Mindi, honey?

The doctors just need to test something, okay?

♪ ♪

All right, we're gonna take this out of your nose, okay?

All right, you ready? There you go.

You're gonna be all right. There you go.

You okay?

Is it hard to breathe?

( light dramatic music )

Sats are still at a hundred percent.

♪ ♪

I don't understand.

This is like a miracle. How could this happen?

Do you mind... Could we step outside and chat for a minute?

♪ ♪

Mindi? Mommy will be right back, okay?

♪ ♪

Ms. Remus, are you familiar with a condition called Munchausen by proxy?

♪ ♪

You think I'm crazy.

You think I'm making my daughter sick?

Other hospitals reported that Mindi's symptoms don't seem to present when she's in the emergency room.

Other hospitals?

Yes.

You've known about this all day and you didn't say anything?

I'm sorry.

Oh, my God.

♪ ♪

You're trying to take my child away from me.

Ms. Remus, our main interest is Mindi's welfare.

No, no, you can't take her.

You cannot take my little girl from me.

Ms. Remus.

No, no, no, no.

We really should have this conversation outside.

You can't take her.

Ms. Remus.

You can't take her. I'm not crazy.

Ms. Remus.

Dad.

You can't take her from me.

Dad!

Anna.

Give me a minute.

She has been sick her entire life and I'm the only one...

Could that really happen?

Could they really take her daughter away, I don't...

Honey, what are you... What are you doing here?

You're not supposed to be here, sweetie.

I love her.

You are not taking her away from me!

Honey, I'm so sorry that you had to see that.

But what was going on there was that that woman, she...

She may have an illness that causes her to...

To not be a very good mom.

( stark music )

Dad, are they gonna separate you from me?

What? Who?

Those people, like downstairs.

( sniffling )

No. No, nobody's...

Nobody's gonna separate us.

Why do you ask that?

♪ ♪

'Cause you haven't been a very good dad.

♪ ♪

I mean, it's like you just forgot about me.

No. No, no, no, not for a second.

No. I-I didn't.

You did.

But I'm not mad, I don't care, I don't want you to go away.

No, sweetie, I'm not going anywhere.

It's not gonna happen.

You promise?

I promise.

♪ ♪

What?

♪ ♪

It's just that, um... you know I do...

( stammers ) I love you so much.

And, and I... I feel so bad.

It's okay.

No, it's not okay.

You're right.

I have not been a very good dad.

Um, I haven't been around.

Well, that's because Cece died.

Yeah, but you know what?

That's not an excuse.

You're my daughter.

You know, you're my little baby girl.

And, um...

I'm really sorry.

And I promise I'm gonna... I'm gonna do better, okay?

Okay.

♪ ♪

( machines beeping )

Your fellow officers would like to come in.

Did you say something to them?

No, no, we haven't.

Look, John.

I'm in the Navy, and it's been my experience that cops and military, we're a lot alike.

Profound sense of duty.

But I gotta tell you, man.

If something did happen in your past, you need to own up to it.

I'm not a military man.

But my pops used to say, "A lie can poison a man's life."

( breathes deeply )

What do you think about the pants?

What's that smell? What's going on?

The sewer's backed up.

Can you fix it?

We've got raw sewage coming up from the drains.

Kitchen's not usable.

We have to close.

Close?

I'm very sorry.

We can reschedule, help you find another venue.

♪ ♪

( sighs ) Ben.

It'll be okay.

But it's always been my dream to get married here.

We'll figure something out.

♪ ♪

I'm not gonna give up. ( sighs )

I can do this.

Where else can we have it?

The River Walk. We can rent a tent.

It's March.

Maggie, let me help you out here.

Ben, don't distract me.

Stop it. All right, stop.

You're acting like someone in remission.

What?

Cancer. That's what this is about.

You just went through something that made you feel helpless, and you never want to feel that way again.

Believe me, I know.

But no matter how hard you try, you can't control everything.

But it's all ruined.

Mm-mm.

You have a partner now.

What's called in marriage a helpmate.

And that helpmate is gonna do his job and help you.

♪ ♪

( sighs )

Sorry about that.

Is everything okay?

Yeah. Yes, it is, thanks.

Once you're finished evaluating her, we're supposed to meet in Goodwin's office.

I so wanted to believe her.

♪ ♪

When I was pregnant, they told me that I would lose her if I didn't stay in bed, so I did for two months.

But still, she came at 24 weeks.

Would you mind telling me a bit about what Mindi's birth was like for you?

Terrible.

I was so scared. ( Sniffling )

And there was so much blood.

And then she wasn't breathing.

They took her away from me, and they put all these tubes in her.

♪ ♪

I see the faces of the doctors, and I hear the machines.

♪ ♪

And... I think my baby is dying.

Even now, she sleeps next to me in bed.

And I listen all night to make sure she's still breathing.

But I mean, you're getting some rest, aren't you?

W-When do you sleep?

♪ ♪

I don't.

Okay, everything is looking great, April, but you will need to follow up with your REI about continuing IVF.

I will, thank you.

I'm glad you're back.

I'll go get your discharge started.

You're gonna be okay.

But we need to change your meds.

Mm-mm.

When the last harvest failed, I wanted to make sure that the next one didn't.

So I doubled up my hormone meds.

( sighs )

I did it to myself.

April.

You want a baby.

We both want a baby, but not at the expense of your health, never.

Look, it's okay. It's okay.

I just wanted to make up for...

You have nothing to make up for.

I do.

What are you talking about?

Crockett.

♪ ♪

Crockett?

( quiet tense music )

The night that you left on deployment...

I kissed him.

I'm sorry.

I did.

Wait, it wasn't his fault, it was mine.

He had nothing to do with it.

Nothing?

Nothing to do with it?

Ethan.

Ethan.

( dramatic music )

April? Really? Huh?

All this time acting like friends, huh?

Come on! Come on, friend! Let's be friends!

Hey, hey, hey!

Come on, come on!

Hey, back up!

Dr. Marcel!

The patient wants to see you.

( tense music )

♪ ♪

Go.

♪ ♪

Officer, what do you need?

They think I'm a hero.

I'm not.

You were right.

I can't go on living a lie.

I was 17.

A real knucklehead.

Friend had a gun, thought it'd be cool to knock off a liquor store.

Trouble was, the owner also had a gun.

Shot my friend.

Shot me when I was in the car, trying to get away.

My friend died.

But I lived.

I had to believe it was for a reason.

Turn my life around.

Make amends.

We appreciate what it took for you to tell us this.

♪ ♪

Since the gunshot wound was never reported, you know that we have to...

No.

Let me.

I will.

( stirring music )

♪ ♪

Officer Bell would like to see you.

( door clicks open )

So are we agreed?

DCFS will take custody of Mindi Remus?

Uh, no, we're not. We are...

We are not agreed.

What?

Why not?

Carol Remus is suffering from a mental illness, which happens to be easily misinterpreted as Munchausen by proxy, but it's not.

I think she's suffering from PTSD.

Post-traumatic stress disorder.

Oh, come on, from what?

From the experience of giving birth to an extremely premature baby and of watching that baby almost die.

No, Mindi is clearly not suffering from any of the conditions that Mom claims.

Well, PTSD leads to hypervigilance...

In this case, a mother's constant worry about her daughter's health.

This would cause Ms. Remus to misinterpret Mindi's symptoms, even blow them wildly out of proportion.

What about the little girl? What about what she needs?

What's best for Mindi is to remain with the mother who loves her.

You're wrong.

♪ ♪

Ms. Goodwin?

I'm going to stand with Dr. Charles.

( soft dramatic music )

♪ ♪

When that little girl comes back in here, severely injured... And she will...

That's on all of you.

♪ ♪

( door clicks shut )

Hey, Will!

You were right.

I would've denied it.

Just talked my way out of it.

And I was in too deep.

Just total self-denial.

♪ ♪

Every day had just become about getting the next fix.

You know, if I'm honest with myself...

♪ ♪

What you did was what I needed.

It has not been easy.

But you gave me my life back.

♪ ♪

You got plans tonight?

No.

How about a wedding?

Dr. Choi.

I understand we had some trouble upstairs.

Yes, ma'am.

I can't have my doctors coming to blows in the ICU.

Understood.

Ms. Goodwin, it was my fault.

I take full responsibility for what happened.

What do you mean?

April and I, we've been trying to have a baby.

And I guess I got obsessed with that.

Didn't see there were problems.

I can understand your wanting to have a baby, Dr. Choi.

You've seen a lot of death.

It's only natural you'd want to bring life into the world.

♪ ♪

But don't be too hard on yourself.

I'll see you at the wedding?

( quiet dramatic music )

♪ ♪

( both laugh )

You can open your eyes now.

( laughs softly )

( soft romantic music )

( gasps )

♪ ♪

You know my Wednesday night league.

They helped me put this together.

We brought the Opal Room here.

It's beautiful, Ben.

No. You're beautiful.

♪ ♪

Should we do this?

♪ ♪

We're gathered tonight in this bowling alley to join my friends Ben and Maggie in holy matrimony.

In a moment, they will say their vows...

You hit on April?

And I was beginning to think you were a good guy.

♪ ♪

Whatever gave you that idea?

♪ ♪

With this ring, I, Ben Campbell, take you, Maggie Lockwood, to be no other than yourself.

♪ ♪

With this ring, I, Maggie Lockwood, take you, Ben Campbell, to be no other than yourself.

Brave. Loving.

And your indispensable helpmate.

And my indispensable helpmate.

I promise to love and respect you, throughout all of our years.

Throughout our shared life.

And in all that life may bring us.

♪ ♪

By the power vested in me by the state of Illinois, I pronounce you husband and wife.

( cheers and applause )

♪ ♪

All right, everyone. Let's roll!

♪ Now that we found love ♪
♪ What are we gonna do with it? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Now that we found love ♪
♪ What are we gonna do with it? ♪
♪ One, two, tell me what you got ♪
♪ Let me slip my quarters inside your slot ♪
♪ To hit the jackpot, rev me up, rev me up ♪
♪ My little buttercup ♪

( cheers and laughter )

Great job.

♪ A strugglin', bubblin' overweight lover hug pro ♪
♪ So what's it gonna be, me or the TV? ♪
♪ Now let me take time to set your mind and your body free ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Come on, do the right thing, baby ♪
♪ Now that we found love ♪
♪ What are we gonna do with it? ♪

( dramatic music )

♪ ♪

( wolf howls )