02x09 - The Good Shepherd

♪ Gotta move on ♪
♪ I gotta let you go ♪

Hmm.

The last time you baked like this is when you found out that David was having an affair.

I feel guilty that I'm enjoying it this much.

Oh, don't be. I need something to focus on other than Josh and that magazine article which I wish you would stop reading.

Sorry. I never took him for the kind of guy that would let fame go to his head.

That's not what happened, and you know it.

This is my fault.

Josh wanted to mention me in that story, and I asked him not to.

I chose staying in the closet at work over going public about our relationship.

Oh, Honey, don't turn this into a civil rights struggle.

You're entitled to your privacy however you like.

And he's entitled to break up with me over it, which he did.

So enjoy your pie.

Mm.

[buzzer]

Are you expecting someone?

Oh, more young creatives.

Liza, we're here to get you out of your misery.

Oh, my God. Are you baking pie?

She's in a baking fugue.

It's what she does when relationships end.

May I have a slice of your pain?

Oh, yeah, help yourself.

Listen, I know this hurts.

But I totally get why you ended it.

He just couldn't let go of his public, hot, single tattoo artist image.

Yeah. He let the publicity go to his head, believe me.

I have seen this happen time and again, just... generally not so swiftly.

Kelsey, congratulations.

I heard the big news.

Thanks. It was all a little sudden, but I'm excited.

Hmm. She hasn't even put the ring up on Instagram.

Oh, it's like it hasn't even happened yet.

Exactly. Listen.

We have a surprise for you.

What kind of surprise?

We got your ass up on Tinder, Girl.

Come check it out!

What? No. Don't do that.

I don't Tinder.

No, no, no, don't worry, okay?

I posted your pic to my account.

Come here.

Ugh.

We wanted to show you all the eligible non-Josh guys out there.

Mmhmm.

So swipe right if you like a guy, left if you don't.

You both swipe right on each other... it's a match.

Oh, so it's like a game show, and the first prize is a pen1s?

Yeah.

Yup.

All right.

Right.

Right.

Both: Right.

[gasps] Oh, my God. That's Josh.

Swipe left. Swipe left, please.

What?

Oh, oh... yeah.

Oh, no, oh, no.

I really did not need to see that.

[ahem]

I am going to go to the Farmers' Market.

More apples.

Okay.

Maybe she's more of a Hinge girl.

[upbeat electronica]

Have you ever seen so much Kinfolk crafty crap?

And I guess the bonnet is back.

When did Williamsburg become actual Colonial Williamsburg?

[phone chimes]

Oh, there's the apples.

Give me the bag.

Okay.

I'll see you in a second.

Okay.

[mellow pop song plays]

♪ ♪

Yeah, thank you, guys.

♪ ♪

How do you like it?

Honestly, it's the softest thing I've ever felt.

[chuckles]

Where are these from? Scotland?

Actually, that wool is from my own sheep.

You raise sheep?

Yeah.

Uh, I have a small flock on my farm in the Hudson Valley.

Seriously? How long have you been doing that?

About five years, yeah.

Right around the time people in Brooklyn began tending beehives in their fire escapes and raising chickens in coops in the backyards of their brownstones.

You used to live here?

Yeah. Yeah.

I had a vintage denim and boot business in Greenpoint and sold it all to buy a farm and a flock upstate.

Sounds beautiful.

Oh, yeah.

I hate leaving the place.

I trek down here maybe once a month to sell some woolens, but that's it.

Well, I think I need to wrap myself up in something soft like this for the next few days.

They make the perfect security blanket.

Ah...

Stella?

Name of the lamb the wool came from.

She's a great girl.

40.

Thank you.

Sheila's nice too. Mmm...

I'm good with Stella.

All right.

Liza, by the way.

Sebastian.

It's nice to meet you.

Hey, why don't you take a couple of these?

You know, just some information about taking care of the wool and musings about my life on the farm.

You're a philosopher shepherd?

Shepherd philosopher.

Stella and I look forward to reading.

[Lake and Levy's "Time Out"]

♪ ♪

♪ Come with me for a little time out ♪
♪ I can show you what it's all about... ♪

I think this is really good.

It's like a modern day "Walden."

He writes like a hipster Thoreau.

Who, the hot shepherd?

Yeah.

Read this. Tell me what you think.

Okay, but don't judge me.

I mean, I don't know the difference between On Walden Pond or "On Golden Pond."

It doesn't matter. Just read it.

Okay.

I'm telling you. There's something there.

He taps into the whole Kinfolk movement and the urge for simplicity.

The last time someone handed me a pamphlet with that look in their eye, it was a Jehovah's Witness on the subway.

Oh, just read it first and then tell me I'm crazy.

I assume you girls are talking about Kelsey's engagement?

Oh, did you see the ring on Instagram?

Of course. You're on my newsfeed.

Oh.

Congratulations on your starter marriage.

Relax, it just my joke.

[mouthing] No, it's not.

It's weird... I posted my ring a couple days ago, and I haven't gotten very many likes.

Well, everyone is so overwhelmed with social media.

It's why that pamphlet is so relevant.

My avocado toast at brunch got more likes.

Well, to be fair, that avocado toast looked really good.

[sighs] More about this later, okay?

Some of the girls are taking me out for drinks tonight.

Less baking and more drinking.

Both: Hey.

Hi.

Where's Kelsey?

Oh, she's right behind me.

She's having an argument with the Uber driver about her rating.

Liza, sit down. Come on.

Sit, sit, sit.

Okay.

What does Kelsey think she's doing?

Excuse me?

She cannot marry Thad.

Thad's the kind of guy that you get out of your system before you meet the right guy.

Okay. I am so happy to hear this.

I feel the exact same way.

I don't think it's real.

All she's done is post some vague picture of a ring.

Liza, Kelsey totally respects you, okay, and even though, you know, you're just an assistant, you know, she really, really values what you have to say.

Hi, everyone!

All: Hi.

Sorry to keep you guys waiting.

[overlapping chatter] Oh, my God.

Hey, Baby. I ordered your tequila online.

Aww. I love you.

Yes! Drink up.

Liza was just telling us she had something she wanted to say.

Oh, okay.

Uh...

We... we were just talking, and, um...

And what?

Just how this engagement might seem...

I mean, are you sure?

With Millennial just starting to take off?

I mean what's the rush?

Is this what you guys all think?

No, no!

Uh... no!

[overlapping comments]

Thad is amazing. We are so excited for you.

Liza...

I know you may have some sour grapes after your breakup, but I would really love for you to support me right now.

Of course.

And just so all of you know, I've changed my relationship status to "engaged."

This is real. To Kelsey's engagement!

Kelsey's engagement!

Whoo!

Kelsey's engagement!

Whoo-hoo!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Okay. You may be wrong about that, but you are so right about this shepherd guy.

God, he can write the sh1t out of nothing.

I just said the wedding seemed an antsy bit premature.

Whatever. Let's talk about work.

How do we bring this guy in?

Well, he's so far off the grid.

He doesn't even have an email address.

Ugh. I hate that that makes me want him even more, but it totally does. Do you know where he lives?

Well, there's some clues written in the essays, but I'd have to drive up there.

Could you cover for me with Diana?

Yes. Because that is what friends do.

You just called in sick.

I am really sorry about butting in.

I... don't know anything, okay?

I have made so many mistakes in my personal life.

I have no right giving anyone advice.

I know that it's hard to see your good friends happy while you are going through a breakup, but I just really want you to be excited for me.

Kelsey, if you're happy, I'm happy.

[phone chimes]

[scoffs] What?

I changed my relationship status to "engaged," and you haven't accepted me, so now it looks like I'm engaged to myself.

Sorry, babe, I just have to tie up some loose ends first.

What do you mean, "loose ends"?

You know, it's just some friends that deserve to hear the good news in person.

Okay. We're gonna pick a night and tie up those loose ends together, okay?

I got to go.

Sebastian: 160 miles northwest of New York City...

One finds a hamlet in the extreme west part of Renssalaerville, known as Potter's Hollow.

Beautiful.

The road veers sharply past the original Palmer Bates Blacksmith shop and into the forked valley where the pavement turns to dirt... and leads to one of the most bucolic views to be found in this part of Western New York State.


[dog barking]

Oh!

Okay.

[continues barking]

I guess you missed the "No Trespassing" sign.

Sorry.

We met at the Brooklyn Flea, remember?

Uh, Stella...

Right, right.

I read your essays, and I just had to come talk to you.

I'm not a stalker.

I work in publishing.

Well, I wrote those essays for fun.

I never really thought about publishing them.

And I came up here to make you think otherwise.

Okay.

What's your pitch?

People want a glimpse of a simpler life.

We are all such slaves to social media.

You live and write with a clarity of purpose most people are missing right now.

I think your story is like an American "Year in Provence."

Oh, no, no, no.

That guy went on to become kind of famous, right?

See, I don't want to become famous.

I think that's what's known as a high-class problem.

For you, maybe.

Would you at least be open to developing your essays into something more... maybe a book?

In a way, I've already written it.

Five years of my life here on the farm.

Some fairly quotidian stuff, but you're welcome to take a look.

I would love to read a copy.

You're looking at the one and only copy right here.

What if I wanted someone else to take a look?

Wherever the book goes, I go.

Understood.

Have at it. [chuckles]

Take sugar?

Just a little honey.

All right.

I'm done.

One minute.

I love it.

It's so resonant right now with everyone so hyper-connected and overstimulated.

I think there's something really zeitgeisty here.

And I'm sure I'll never eat lamb again.

So a handwritten manuscript on the wonders of solitude and... sheep farming.

How am I supposed to market that?

Sebastian?

Sebastian, I would like you to meet Kelsey Peters, head of Millennial Print and Diana Trout, head of Marketing.

Okay. I think I know how.

Thank you.

So what do you do for fun up on the farm?

Oh, I had my share of fun for about ten years living here.

Fun can be very exhausting.

So, um, no significant other?

There was my ex, Leslie.

Right, of course.

I remember her from the book.

Yes.

She lasted about six months on the farm.

Yes. Yeah, yeah. Until she decided a life without reliable Wi-Fi was not worth living.

You don't get lonely?

Ah, the work keeps me busy.

The moon and stars keep me company at night.

What about when it's cloudy?

Oh, I knit.

Yeah.

[both laugh]

No. You'd be amazed how much more you appreciate life when it all slows down.

I bet.

I used to be the poster child for this mess.

[inhales, exhales]

You know, if there's one thing I hope people can really take from my book, it's that you can totally reinvent your life on a whim.

I can certainly relate to that.

Josh.

Liza.

Greta, do you remember my friend, Liza?

Hi.

[ahem] This is Sebastian.

He's writing a book for us.

What's up, dude? Nice to meet you.

And you. Hello.

Nice to meet you, Sebastian.

Have a nice dinner.

You too.

That was my ex. We just split up.

Another nice thing about living on a farm... you never run into your exes.

Okay, baby. It's time to open the kimono.

Let's open it.

Who's Alison West?

She is a barista at Stumptown.

Unfriend.

Stephanie Roberts?

An analyst at Morgan Stanley.

She's poking you.

It's a business poke.

Unfriend.

Amanda Potter.

She is my cousin-in-law.

That's not a real thing.

Buh-bye.

Babe, you're harsh.

Is there anyone else here that is gonna be surprised when you change your relationship status to engaged?

Ah, baby, just a couple people.

Like who?

My parents.

You haven't told your parents yet?

They're still out of town.

Then my v*g1n* is out of town.

Is your mouth out of town?

[upbeat pop tune]

How was dinner with the hot shepherd?

Oh, it was great until we ran into Josh and Greta.

Oh.

I definitely think they're dating.

You're not gonna start baking again, are you?

I'm happy for him.

Seeing him with a girl his own age... makes sense.

I thought the shepherd sounded perfect.

Like, off the grid, way out of town.

I am not ready to jump back into something.

And besides... it's a work thing.

You know, before Josh, you didn't have s*x for, like, what, two years?

Don't let your pilot light go out again.

Just saying.

Have Sebastian sign these.

It's boilerplate for a first book.

Oh, fantastic!

And I also think he should be shirtless for the author's photo.

We need to look beyond the 4H Club.

Can you have him come in this morning?

Oh, I think he already left for the farm.

Without signing these? Liza, what were you thinking?

I wasn't.

Drive up there, get these signed, and then get back here with that book.

On my way.

♪ ♪

♪ La la la la ♪

♪ ♪

♪ La la la la ♪

♪ ♪

♪ La la la la ♪


♪ Yeah, yeah... ♪

Hi! Hi.

[dog barking]

Hi. Sorry to barge in.

I forgot to ask you to sign these last night.

Well, you guys don't waste any time.

[laughs] Come on, let's go.

Come on, boy!

[laughing]

If you want to have someone look these over...

Nah. I don't believe in lawyers.

And something tells me I can trust you.

Definitely.

It's a pretty standard agreement.

And we even have language in there giving you approval of the look of the actual book.

I asked for that.

Oh, that's great.

Yeah. I think it's important it has a handmade feel to it.

I think a lot of people are going to be really touched by what you've written.

Ah...

I know I have.

Well, regardless of what happens with the book, I'm just glad it gave me a chance to meet you.

I feel the same way.

I'm sorry. I don't get many visitors.

I forgot my manners.

I'm being very unprofessional.

[phone chimes]

Oh, no.

Do yourself a favor. Just throw that thing away.

I know. I'm sorry.

Oh... [laughing]

I have to rush these to the office.

I'll be back to show you the proofs once we have them.

Come back anytime, but you don't need an excuse.

Nothing beats a good glass of red by that fireplace.

Great.

I'll bring the wine.

Take good care of my baby.

Like it's my own.

♪ Hey, hey ♪
♪ Hello there, sunshine ♪
♪ Hey, hey, come meet the moon ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hello there, sunshine... ♪

[phone chimes]

♪ I'll be there soon ♪
♪ Hey, hey, I gotta dance on the river ♪

[softly] Oh, shoot.

♪ Gotta talk to the clouds ♪

♪ Gotta run on a rainbow ♪

Ah, damn.

♪ La la la la, hey, hey ♪
♪ La la la la, hey, hey ♪
♪ Yeah yeah ♪

[sheep bleats in distance]

Sebastian?

[sheep bleat, dog barks]

Sebastian?

Hello?

[moans] Oh...

[sheep bleats]

Ohh...

Oh, my God!

Oh!

[sheep bleats]

Oh, my God! [whimpering/grunting]

Liza! Liza! Liza!

I was just grooming her!

Stella!

What? Are you sure?

Well, he said he was grooming her, but...

But what?

Oh, please don't make me repeat it.

After what I went through with the Dennis Hastert high school wrestling memoir, we can't risk this.

That is what comes from trying find new authors at the Farmers' Market.

Maybe you'll have better luck next time at the circus.

You know what? I do have some good news.

Josh unfollowed me on Instagram.

How is that good news?

That means that he misses you so much he can't even see pictures of your friends having fun.

Or maybe he just wants nothing to do with any of us.

I like my version a lot better.

Hey, babe.

Hey, babe.

Hey. Hey, Liza.

Hey, let's go, Kels. We're gonna be late.

Yeah. Wish us luck.

We're going to meet his parents for dinner, and we're gonna tell 'em the big news.

Babe, I already told them.

I wouldn't just drop a big bomb like that with you sitting there. What if they freaked?

What? What did they say?

They are super pumped.

We have to go do something first.

Okay. Let's make this official.

[exhales]

Okay.

Relationship status officially updated.

Okay.

[Thad chuckles]

[cheerful pop melody]

♪ ♪