Industry

Season 2, Episode 5

Kitchen Season

Transcript

s02e05 - Kitchen Season script

detail

After learning of Yasmin and Jackie’s impending trip to Berlin, Harper attempts to land an invite for more than just business reasons. Approached about a new government position, Aurore offers a conflicted Gus a spot on her team. Meanwhile, Danny asks Robert to pursue a recent grad for a position at Pierpoint.
Danny Van Deventer: Take this fսckіng cоck! ( Panting )

( "The Marriage of Figaro" by Mozart playing )

DVD: ( Pants ) Give me that fսckіng pսssy.

( Gasps ) Oh, yes.

( Moans, pants )

( Music swells )

DVD: ( Pants ) Need to be in that fսckіng pսssy.

Oh, yeah. Give me that pսssy.

( Pants ) Your pսssy feels so good. It's fսckіng good.

Oh, I need to be in this fսckіng pսssy.

( Engine revving )

DVD: Oh, I need your pսssy. Give me that fսckіng pսssy.

Uh! Oh, sh¡t!

( Harper stern grunts, giggles )

( Engine cuts off )

( Car door opening, closing )

( Car door closing )

Rishi Ramdani: ( Scoffs ) What the fսck is this now?

( Car door closing )

Rishi: So, Harper, tell me...

( Music concludes )

Rishi: is Daniel stick shift or automatic?

You seen the Christmas promotions list?

( Inhales sharply ) I can't believe they didn't make you an MD.

Yeah, time must not have been right.

Haven't you been an ED for, like, ten years?

If the cսոts don't make me an MD soon, I'll hit a bid away.

( Chuckles )

Who's officially running the desk?

You know, I never had Eric pegged as a baby-kisser.

I had no idea he wanted that role.

Yeah, I guess you never really know anyone.

Hmm. There's always the possibility he was pushed. Up or out.

( Soft techno music playing )

This is sweet.

Thanks, man.

I, uh, I bought my motor off a recently divorced dad in Chingford.

Distressed seller is key.

Cool. ( Chuckles )

Charming.

DVD: Yeah.

Uh. P... permission to be vulnerable with you for just a second?

Depends entirely on what you say. ( Clears throat )

Okay. ( Chuckles ) Um... ( Inhales )

Okay, yes?

Car's only a lease.

Harper: Oh, my God.

Yeah. Were you gonna say, "I love..."

Harper: Oh, my God!

DVD: "I love you"? Yeah!

( "Dance of the Mirlitons" by Tchaikovsky playing )

Oh... ( Chuckles )

( Clears throat )

Mm. ( Chuckles )

Sensational. ( Chuckles, inhales )

A tasty financier for a tasty financier.

( Laughs )

I've ceded St Moritz to Mom for Christmas.

Azar has taken Gaza...

Ga-zar.

( Both chuckle )

She's, um, blocked me. On everything.

I think she's genuinely devastated I've let you back in.

You've let me back in?

I appreciate you letting us stay at our place in Berlin.

One last handover on my desk and then I'll be on your account.

( Chuckles )

( Slurps )

Yasmin Kara-Hanani: It'll be funny going back there.

Mm-hmm.

My favorite bolthole.

Fond memories.

All I remember is the walls thudding...

Charles Hanani: City of Techno.

And you coming in to kiss me in the morning...

( Charles chuckles )

.. beer breath.

I'm pleased you finally learned the art of self-control.

( Chuckles )

Well, at least you paid someone to watch over me.

I should look up Theresa while I'm there.

I haven't spoken to her in years.

Charles: Theresa?

Yasmin: My nanny out there.

You must remember, she came everywhere with us.

Won't work put you in some swanky hotel?

They'd put me in a fսckіng Marriot. ( Chuckles )

Is there a problem with me using it? I mean... you'd rather leave it as a museum?

Not at all, not at all.

I'm glad someone is able to enjoy it.

( Soft techno music playing )

( Indistinct chatter )

( Telephones ringing )

So, when was the last time we had a huddle?

Not since Eric moved up.

Well, nature abhors a vacuum.

Kenny Kilbane: ( Shouting ) Has anybody seen my creatine powder?

All right. Uh, guys, hustle up.

I know everyone's feeling a little disjointed since Eric's promotion.

I know nothing's been formalized yet, but I think it would be easier for all of us if we clarified reporting lines, and for ease you can all report to me.

Yeah, does, uh, does Eric's promotion free up our payment pool?

What does it mean for London-New York?

Is it a signal?

As far as I know, it's neck and neck. But we'll prevail, if we rally together.

( Clears throat )

DVD: I know London thinks it's standard operating procedure to hit cruise control in December and save all of your quality flows for January, but, trust me, every dollar still counts.

Rumor has it, your girl, Yas, is taking equity sales to Berlin to hand over the FutureDawn account to Jackie Walsh, of all fսckіng people.

I can't believe Pierpoint still lets that hoodlum in front of clients.

I have the best line into Anna since the Rican shoot.

I should be on that trip.

I'll bump the equities guy off the trip and try to poach Anna for our desk.

I like the tenacity.

That's all, thank you so much.

( Indistinct chatter )

( Telephones ringing )

Rishi: Christmas is a surprisingly pricey time of year.

DVD: Good chance to see your brother.

Shame I can't join you.

Uh. To make it happen you need CRMS to sign off on it.

I can't reassign equity coverage relationships myself.

Eric's in charge of those decisions now.

You'll have to ask him.

You really want to go up there?

Rishi: Advice, don't get caught in a knock up on Boxing Day.

( Music fading )

Harper Stern...

Hey. Um...

I'm assuming... ( Sighs ) ...from your new 30,000-foot view of client relationships, you have the granularity on what client interactions are the most lucrative?

They sent me a binder full of art.

I can choose whatever I like.

Tasteful?

( Inhales ) So, you know about the FX trip to Berlin to meet with Anna Gearing at FutureDawn?

Yup. Among many others.

Right.

So, I was thinking... I know officially, technically it's still an FX relationship but, um, I, sort of, hit it off with her at the Rican investors event.

Assistant: I'm terribly sorry to interrupt...

Um.

...did you comprehensively consult the binder? You... You're certain we shouldn't go with the Chinese triptych?

I comprehensively consulted the binder.

Uh. I was wondering if maybe you could bump equities and send me instead?

Uh, just so I'm clear, you want me to reassign equity coverage on one of the biggest equity accounts from the equity sales desk to you... a non-equity salesperson?

Uh, yeah.

Sure, I can do that.

( Keyboard clicking )

( Glasses clinking )

( Water pouring )

( Indistinct chatter )

Jackie Walsh: Anybody seen my fսckіng passport?

( Water pouring )

( Glass thudding )

Kenny: Sorry to... have to pull you off the desk for this. I didn't want to intimidate you.

You're not intimidating me, Kenny.

Okay, well it... it is quite a sensitive subject. Uh...

( Munches )

Stale. Decorative maybe.

( Cutlery clattering )

Nobody's actually bold enough to eat them.

Uh, Wyndham's really quite sick.

I initially put it down to his hypochondria, but I just spoke to his wife and he's actually in the hospital.

Fսckіng hell.

Hmm. He's through the worst of it, but we all really need to pull together in his absence.

Look, Kenny, I'm really sorry Wyndham's sick, but, um, I'm not gonna be making up the shortfall.

I'm happy to do the Berlin trip, but then I'm out.

We just can't afford client churn with Wyndham gone.

It makes us look like we need a daddy.

I'd hate to have to jeopardize your move to PWM, but if Jackie and Anna don't jive, I am gonna have to keep you here to cover her.

It wouldn't be my doing, the last thing I want to do is to keep you from being happy.

It would be the needs of the business.

( Soft techno music playing )

( Indistinct chatter )

Accio undergrad talent.

Rishi: Yesterday, I was out when they've got a walk-in...

You still up for going back in time?

Robert Spearing: Oh, yeah, the train's booked for this afternoon.

Great. Oxford. Isn't that Harry Potter cathedral there?

Yeah.

"It's... it's levi-o-sa, not levio-sa."

( Chuckles ) Right?

( Chuckles )

I want specific attention to be paid to this girl.

Uh, woman.

Uh, undergraduate. Daphne Mosson.

She was on our radar over Spring Week, expected a congratulatory first in PPE, President of the Union. McKinsey, Goldman, the Foreign Office all made offers.

That's impressive.

I want her on this desk and it'll be a smoother sell coming from someone closer to her in... in age.

Failing that, you've got your background.

Oh, you know, like... like Brit sh¡t?

Go... go to this recruitment dinner, get her fed, put a cap on her head.

Imagine you're Jon Gruden and you wanna make her a Raider.

But... but something that she might actually go for.

Right.

Yeah, you know, charm her.

Interpret that how you will.

Feel free to bring a grad. Maybe the girl on FX?

Sorry, woman.

Cool.

Great.

Cool.

Cool.

All right.

( Indistinct chatter )

( "While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks" playing )

Aurore Adekunle: Wow. I don't think I've ever seen anyone in here pre 9:00 am.

Once a banker always a banker. ( Chuckles )

I just... I can't believe how much work there is to do.

Mm. Appreciate you manning the fort.

I'd work in this office an hour a week, tops, if I could.

Too much, isn't it? Real life.

Real people.

( Telephone ringing )

( Door closing )

I have been asked to become the new Minister of State for Technology and Health.

I'd love for you to be a part of my team.

What would change?

( Inhales ) Maybe it'll stop the PM from touching my knee at the Spectator summer party, eh?

( Chuckles )

Now, um... ( Exhales ) this stays between these four walls... ( Inhales ) ...but Amazon are a breath away from acquiring every FastAide in the UK.

I'm going to be chairing the anti-competition committee around it.

Have you got a dog in the fight?

Personally, I think Rican's a better landing place for these NHS contracts than... ( Inhales ) whatever hybrid Amazon are planning with FastAide.

I... I don't think we need a physical location for this technology rollout. ( Inhales deeply )

Point is... I want you to work on the prep for this committee.

( Gasps )

I thought you'd be a bit more animated.

I'm so sorry. ( Chuckles ) Sorry, no.

That's a phenomenal opportunity. Th... thank you.

Let's get you out of this fսckіng office, yeah? ( Chuckles )

The thought of you stuck in here depresses me.

( Chuckles )

( Music fading )

( Indistinct chatter )

( Telephone ringing )

Hello. ( Exhales )

Jack gove: ( Over phone ) Hi, am I speaking to Mr. Robert Spearing?

Uh. Speaking.

Jack: Hi, sorry if this is a bit intrusive, but I had to do a bit of digging to find you.

My name's Jack Gove.

I'm tying up some legal loose ends for Clement Cowan.

I'm the executor of his estate.

( Somber music playing )

Jack: Mr. Cowan has left you a number of items, would you be so kind as to send us the correct postal address?

Hello?

Sorry, um...

Sorry...

Could you remind me when they're having the funeral, please?

Jack: It's this afternoon.

Hello?

Hello?

( Indistinct chatter )

Rishi: Oi, Digital Versatile Disc! You throwing money at it this Christmas?

DVD: I don't know what that means.

( Phone thuds )

Rishi: Are you paying for sеx this Christmas?

( Inhales sharply )

DVD: Only in Iran.

( Exhales sharply )

DVD: Nah, we're going to Jacksonville.

( Siren wailing in distance )

( Indistinct chatter in German )

( Indistinct chatter )

( Car horns blaring )

( In English ) You're not pallid, fat and bald.

Bertie in Equities is a pallid, fat, balding man.

I don't appreciate this last minute shift.

Harper: It's a clerical error. I was always supposed to be on the ticket. I speak with Anna a lot.

There's been a lot of noise around FastAide and Rican, I mean, a lot of rumors.

Well, she's not going to trade any fսckіng FX through your CPS desk while I cover her.

Yasmin: I told you this already.

Jackie, you're the stranger here.

I have a relationship with Anna. Harper has a relationship with Anna. We just need a smooth transition for when I go to PWM.

We'll flank you, sing your praises.

Please, just let us do the talking.

( Scoffs )

You girls don't even know you're born.

If I'd pulled a stunt like this back when I was in my third year, you've no idea what the men on my desk would've called me.

( Suitcase wheels rolling )

( Uplifting techno music playing )

Yasmin: I haven't been to Berlin since Brexit.

So, maybe let's keep our voices down.

Jackie: I'm still a proud member of the European Union, Yasmin.

Let's go.

( Car door closing )

( Keys jingling )

( Door creaks )

You did not have to let me stay here. Thank you.

This is incredible.

Oh, it's just a pied-à-terre.

( Chuckles )

Harper: Hmm.

The housekeeper still comes every day.

Mad, I know, but my dad didn't want to reduce her days, so we pay her to clean a clean house.

( Scoffs )

Doesn't matter how much money I earn, they'll never let me in these circles.

( Clicks tongue )

This is really cute.

Wow.

Capri.

( Music concludes )

Like, 2005? Ancient history.

Harper: Who is this?

Nanny.

Family friend, I think she's like Maxim's third cousin.

Theresa.

Hmm.

Bet your mom didn't like having her around. ( Chuckles )

Oh, sorry. Bad joke.

Yeah. Well... the same holiday, I literally walked in on my mom giving head to the guy we chartered the boat from.

( Chuckles ) Fսck. I'd forgotten about that.

I thought your dad was the away-from-home guy.

Uh, Jacks and I are thinking of getting dinner later.

There used to be this insane kebab place round the corner but I can't remember the last time I was here.

Um, I was actually reading about this place on Eater that I thought maybe we could try.

Sure.

Hmm.

Sign me up for a juicy chilled red.

( Inhales ) Feels good to be back on the continent, no?

( Chuckles )

Your rooms are on the third floor.

Opposite the Bridget Riley.

Harper: Great. Thank you.

Yasmin: No worries.

( "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" by Tchaikovsky playing )

( Door closing )

( Phone camera clicks )

( Birds chirping )

Hey, thanks for thinking of me for this.

I know it sounds kinda weird but FX has always given me too much independence.

( Chuckles )

Well, it's nice to have someone to learn from.

( Music concludes )

You know, I had this, um...

( Carolers singing "Angels We Have Heard On High" )

( Scoffs )

I guess "mentor" is the right word, but it sounds a bit arcane.

What at Pierpoint?

Yeah, in my first year.

Uh. He was a... uh... ( Chuckles ) he was a junkie, really.

hеrο¡n addict. You know, like white-collar, high functioning.

Sometimes, I used to cover for him in the mornings when he didn't come in.

And, you know, I... I never really knew whether to... emulate him or... or pity him.

It doesn't sound like he liked himself very much.

Oh, no, no. No, he was a fսckіng riot.

You know, amazing salesperson.

And, you know, he was the first aspirational man that I had in my life.

Hmm. Uh.

( Birds chirping )

It's such a weird feeling being back here.

You know, I used to work all the time.

Did you get a first?

Venetia Berens: I wanted one, so badly.

Though I think my mom wanted me to get one more.

Like, immigrant mentality.

Robert: ( Chuckles ) Right.

Yeah, well, try growing up here.

Hmm.

Yeah. We moved down from Hull when I was a kid for my dad's work. Um...

I think that's why my mom wanted me to get in so badly.

Yeah.

Uh, she died, um, around the time I had my interviews and...

You know, it's funny, I... ( Chuckles )

Like, all I remember is that... I needed to get in.

Yeah.

You know, like, it was the only way I could think to honor her or something.

And... and my dad didn't give two fսcks.

He's not really made for this sort of stuff.

Probably why she left him.

Venetia: Does he still live here?

( Indistinct chatter )

I... had to take a year out.

Had a bit of a breakdown. ( Chuckles )

My tutor found me wandering Cornmarket stealing copies of Vogue from the WHSmith.

( Laughs )

Venetia: Yeah. ( Laughs )

Uh, you must've spent your three years pissed out of your skull?

( Both chuckling )

You've never even seen me have a drink.

Yeah, but I've spoken to enough people at work to know that before whatever Damascene conversion you've had, it sounds like you were a lot of fun.

Yeah. ( Chuckles )

( Chuckles )

Well, you know, I had to sing for my supper.

Yeah?

Yeah, uh, I was either hungover and singing, or actually pissed and singing, or singing while anticipating being pissed.

I was in the choir.

Oh, you're sh¡tting me. Where?

Yeah, I was a choral scholar, Christ Church.

( Chuckles ) Bullshit, no. You're not a singer.

( Chuckles )

Yeah, I'm just winding you up.

( Chuckles )

Ah, I had this awful Tory boyfriend at Christ Church.

Port and Policy wankеr.

I used to love going to communion there.

I found it so calming.

I might go tomorrow.

( Indistinct chatter in German )

( Upbeat club music playing )

Yasmin: ( In English ) Fսck's sake. Anna's postponed.

She wants push the meeting to the afternoon.

Well, ladies, this is a fantastically happy accident because now, we can tie one on together.

Huh? Get to know each other, shock horror.

Yeah, I think we might get one more and have an early night.

( Chuckles ) I'm only fսckіng with you.

What I fancy is not co-worker vibes.

Oh.

Jackie: Well, visiting Berlin without the KitKat is like Christmas dinner without the Baileys.

Are you sure?

Jackie: Absolutely! I am sick of the sight of you.

No, you get a new clarity when you have a few strangers focused on your pleasure.

Enjoy your evening.

And morning.

I didn't feel like we wanted to hang out with a colleague.

( Chuckling )

Hmm.

Venetia: ( Exhales ) I can't believe Pierpoint's got me smoking again.

( Chuckles )

Classic.

Passerby 1: Babe, should we get a taxi to Bridge?

Um...

Passerby 1: I want to be first in there so we get a table stand.

Uh...

No. Don't worry about it. ( Chuckles )

No, go on.

( Indistinct chatter )

Do you wanna grab a drink, before the dinner?

Professionally, of course.

Maybe with the odd casual intimacy of earlier here and there.

( Robert chuckles )

I can't.

I'd love to. But I've got to catch up with an old friend.

See you at dinner?

( Taxi engine starting )

Bye.

Passerby 2: I've got a crew date at Jamal's. Dreading it.

Bob Snr: Give us a minute, mate.

( Festive music playing )

STUDENT 1: I've got two pingers and a couple of bags of really shoddy K. Will that be enough?

Bob: Small or large?

Make it a large.

Student 2: Mate, this is the commemoration ball, there's a lot us.

Student 1: Reckon we should have enough for...

Oi! Can I get some service please?

No fսckіng way.

Hey.

( Glasses clinking )

sh¡t.

Why didn't you tell me you were coming? Look at this.

You dress up for me? Good looking suit.

( Chuckles ) Cheers. A friend bought it for me.

But, uh, yeah. I'm here for work.

Recruitment.

Working in recruitment?

Nah. Finance.

And it's much more complex and important.

( Chuckles ) Right.

Robert: So, what do ya reckon?

You should have told me you were coming, I would've cleared my evening.

Yeah, well, I'm here now.

I'm working now.

Student 1: He's pushing in.

All right, well then... pour me a fսckіng drink then.

Silly mug. Net's down. We're cash only today.

Let's have a bev. I've gotta be somewhere soon.

Mate, I was here first.

I'm just serving someone.

Beers. Yeah. Thank you.

Two? Two minutes, mate.

Student 1: Why's he dressed like Alan Partridge?

Be nice. That old sport isn't worth it.

All right, then.

Well, look, this is enough for our drink, this cսոt's drink and everyone in here's next round.

So, have a drink with me.

Excuse me?

Bob, I'll have a fսckіng drink with you when I'm done serving and I've finished up.

Robert: I didn't have to come see you, you know.

Serve this chap here then.

Bob Snr: I am.

It's what I'm doing.

Customer 2: That's what he was doing.

Yeah, can you bring me a bottle of champagne as well, yeah, Dad? I know you've got a dusty one round here somewhere. So, let's dig it out.

Bob Snr: How would you know? You never came in here when you were here.

Can you just get it, yeah?

Serve this one here, and then get it.

Customer 2: Chill out, mate.

Hey!

♪ Merry Christmas And Happy New Year... ♪

Have you ordered?

Student 2: I didn't realize you could get Champagne.

Can we get three bottles?

( Music fading )

( Breathes deeply )

( Upbeat club music playing )

( Indistinct chatter in German )

( In English ) We don't have to get another bottle, if you don't feel up to it.

Was it something I said? ( Chuckles )

No. No, not at all. I'm...

You've been super generous. More than I deserve. Honestly.

Okay. Phew. That's good.

( Both chuckle )

'Cause, I don't know, I've been, um... examining recently what it is I actually deserve.

Do you ever feel like a lot of your life happened to someone else? ( Chuckling )

I try not to dwell on the past.

Yeah.

But it's everywhere.

It's why I like our job.

It's like a perpetual present tense.

Okay, forgive me for getting personal, I'm a bit pissed.

( Both laugh )

Um, I've been seeing a lot of my dad recently, which is great, um, but there's still...

I struggle to let him in completely.

You felt like he rejected you, so I mean, you know...

Yeah.

There's that. ( Laughs )

But, um... it's a deeper fear.

Well, you know what Ja Rule says...

"Pain is loving."

( Laughs )

( Chuckles )

God, is it "Ja Rule"? I've always said "Ya."

No! ( Laughs ) Oh, my God.

( Laughs ) Oh, my God!

This is nice. Why can't we be more like this? You know?

We're not getting paid to be like this, right? So...

Right.

I have to tell you something that's gonna make you laugh.

And in the spirit of this and... I don't know, maybe, I just need to say it out loud.

( Sighs ) 'Cause it's so fսckіng insane.

( Mild tempo R&B music playing )

I thought I was gonna see my brother here.

I thought he fսckіng worked here.

I was messaging someone on Insta and, I don't know, I convinced myself he was here but I didn't want to just get on a plane and come over here because that's fսckіng insane. And what if he wasn't? So...

So, when you said you were coming on this trip, I thought, "Why not?" ( Exhales )

I don't know. I... I just got... fixated on my own... fսckіng conspiracy theory, I guess.

( Clears throat )

Let's go sit soft.

At home.

( Chuckles )

( "Maybe We Could" by Kllo playing )

♪ Where are we off to now? Wearing all the doubt... ♪

( Passerby speaking German )

♪ I am here to listen... ♪

( In English ) Could you give me two seconds please?

I'm sorry, I just gotta be sure.

♪ But I can't point it out ♪
♪ See you in myself ♪

KITCHEN STAFF

Member: ( In German )

♪ More than I can tell ♪
♪ I've had it up to here And I've barely stepped out ♪
♪ Where are you off to now? ♪
♪ And push on, maybe we... ♪

( In English ) Wha...

What the fսck?

John-Daniel Stern: Harper?

( Exhales ) Uh, what are you doing in Berlin?

( Song fading )

Uh. we're here for work. I... I'm Yasmin.

Uh, John-Daniel.

Can we go somewhere and talk, please?

Uh.

Well... well, we... we've, uh, we've got plans to go out. So...

( In German )

Uh...

JD: ( In German )

Chef: Okay.

You smell like burnt oil.

( JD chuckles )

( Dial tone beeping )

Taxi Driver: Climb out, mate.

Gus Sackey: ( Over phone ) Hello.

Guess where I am.

You're in Oxford, you told me.

I'm outside the KA.

Don't go and see that prick.

I... I was unfair about him.

See...

I'm... I'm... I'm fսckіng slammed with constituent complaints, mate.

Please, be careful. All right?

Passerby 1: All right, you can't compare the two.

Passerby 2: Look, for the last time, let's settle the debate. Tailors or mortars?

Passerby 1: All right. Don't you mean "Mortimer's," old boy?

Passerby 2: By God, you're right.

Passerby 1: Well, mortars used to surgically remove the labor.

( Snorts )

Passerby 1: And no longer exist, so tailors win by a country mile.

( Sniffs )

( "Silent Night" playing on piano )

Trust me, once you work at Pierpoint, you've arrived.

I sort of felt like that getting in here.

Like I'd feel that, whatever that is.

No, I totally agree. I basically smoked myself into an eating disorder when I was here.

I understand that all too well.

( Robert laughs )

I mean, why would you train your whole life and then not take a gold medal when we're literally offering it to you? I mean, I read all about you because you're such a talked-about property.

You know, I wanted to come meet this star.

Oh, cringe. ( Chuckles )

Not at all. Own it. You've earned it.

You've worked so hard, so why would you pass up the ultimate garland to your achievement?

I mean, just imagine what it'd mean to your parents, yeah?

I'd hardly call it an "ultimate garland."

I mean, it's a finance job. She could do anything she wants.

Try a softer sell, jeez.

Then why do you work for us? Hmm?

Because you knew you were joining the best.

( Chuckles )

Robert: You know, you two, you've got the same...

Sickness?

Quality!

You know, you only wanna join the best.

You only feel, you know, satisfied, like, existentially satisfied when you're achieving, correct?

Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's the case deep down.

( Chuckles ) Not sure if that's a good thing, but yeah...

You're gonna find out wherever you go, whether it's fսckіng politics or an NGO or whatever the fսck.

You're gonna find out that you're buffeted around by market forces and competition and excesses of power, and all the other sh¡t. But we don't cover any of that up.

We are the market leaders in the worst stuff.

It just so happens that the worst is also the truest.

So, come along.

( Chuckles ) What are you talking about?

( Laughs ) You know what? I'm teasing, obviously.

But, you know, I do think it's a practical choice for a girl of your intelligence.

Woman.

And honestly, your anxiety about what to do next, all I'm saying is, allay it.

You know, we can allay it for you.

You know, you give us a year, you'll learn a lot, you'll get paid way more than any of your peers and if you don't like it after a year? Then you're free to go.

And if I get there and feel nothing?

Well, then you're dead inside.

( Daphne mosson chuckling )

Robert: Look... you're looking at you in a year's time.

( Chuckles )

You're an anxiety-ridden Type-A and you love it!

( Both laughing )

They do everything they can to lock you in, in truth.

From what I can tell, it's good to have options.

( Chuckles )

Daphne: Can I get some water?

Tap water is fine.

Just do your fսckіng job, yeah?

Daphne: What am I talking about? Port, if you've got it.

( Chuckles )

Excuse me. ( Chuckles )

( Indistinct chatter )

So, shall I talk you through a potential pathway to running a desk?

We can make you big in your own life.

( Hardcore techno music playing )

Harper: ( Inaudible )

JD:

Yasmin: ( In German )

Chef: ( In German )

JD: ( In German )

Chef:

JD:

Harper: ( In English )

JD: ( In English )

Yasmin: ( In English )

Chef: ( In English )

JD:

( Upbeat club music playing )

( Indistinct chatter in German )

( In English ) Do you have any gum?

Hmm.

Clubber: ( In German )

Yasmin: Oh! Danke.

Harper: ( In English ) Can we go in? It's cold.

( In German )

Ja.

Danke. ( Chuckles )

Harper: ( In English ) You know so many languages.

A lot of nannies.

( Siren wailing in distance )

Harper: I'm cold. Can we go in?

He seems fun.

I've never even seen him take a drink before.

He was an athlete.

Don't you think you should talk?

He's not like a big talker or anything. So what?

Uh. I'm not judging, I'm just being...

I'm just commenting objectively.

Well, don't. Comment objectively on your own sh¡t.

I can't be objective about my own sh¡t. Just yours.

Then don't fսckіng involve yourself.

You have your sh¡t and I have my sh¡t.

Let's just deal with our own fսckіng sh¡t, right?

( Upbeat club music continues )

Harper: ( Inaudible )

JD:

Harper:

JD:

JD:

( Birds chirping )

( Laughs )

Fսck. Fսck.

( Laughs )

You can help push.

Okay. ( Chuckles )

JD: One sec.

( Pans clattering )

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

You good?

Nailed it.

( Laughs )

( Pans clattering )

( Sighs )

Ready? Up. ( Chuckles )

( Harper groans, chuckles )

JD: You hungry?

Harper: Yeah, I think I'm finally coming down.

Who's Helene?

She liked and unliked some like shitty photo from a while back. And I thought it was like, you know... finger slip scrolling or whatever.

Are you guys serious?

I recognized your hands in a lot of her pictures.

JD: ( Chuckling ) Oh, what, you mean these hands?

Bro, how the fսck do you recognize my hands?

( Cupboard door closing )

Can I meet her?

Uh, well, Helene doesn't party. So...

( Water pouring )

Well, I didn't think you did either.

I'm not judging, I'm just saying it was, like, a surprise.

JD: Yeah, well, I don't anymore.

I'm six months sober, so... Well... Fսck, I was until tonight.

Sober?

Oh, my God.

I can't believe you still wear that.

I only started wearing it again recently.

Huh?

Do you remember where I bought this?

Uh. Well, you stole it... on the way to Des Moines.

( Inhales sharply )

You know, that was the best I think I've ever seen you play.

I got so fսckіng lucky.

What? You were amazing.

( Cutlery clattering )

I got, like, a dozen lucky line calls.

Man, you got no idea the sh¡t Mom said to me before that game.

( Cutlery clattering )

JD: You know, every time I hit the ball, I imagined her face.

Honestly, it was never fսckіng bigger.

I just never understood why you left at your peak.

( Exhales ) Yeah, Helene's got me better at talking about this sh¡t.

"Arrival, fallacy."

Uh, could... could you not try and tell me how I felt?

( Chuckles )

You could have just asked me.

Nobody in our family ever wanted my opinion on anything.

But... fսck it. It's in the past now.

What did Mom say to you...

( JD scoffing )

.. before you played?

She said, no cap.

Um, "You don't win, you don't have a home here."

Harper: She was a fսckіng b¡tch. She is a fսckіng b¡tch, we both know that.

Yeah, well, you were the one who forced me back out there.

So...

Forced you?

What do you mean? I was encouraging you.

( Water running )

( Soft techno music playing )

( Sighs )

( Inhales deeply ) Perfection. Perfection. Perfection.

( Inhales ) Man, I did everything I could to be a hundred percent perfect.

( Breathes deeply )

Forced practice, hitting all the time, chronic pain. Fսckіng... hours of tape in a dark room.

You know, and I... ( Sniffles ) I, um, I get fixated on the weirdest sh¡t.

You know, like, I'd be watching and be, like... "Your weight's on the wrong foot. Your weight's on the wrong foot."

( Inhales deeply ) "Weight's on the wrong foot."

( Cutlery clattering )

Fսckіng...

( Exhales deeply )

Why didn't you tell me any of this.

The fսck, man. You were indoctrinated, Harper.

The fսckіng... ( Sighs ) ...the cult of our family.

( Cutlery clattering )

You know I ran away too, right?

( Objects clattering )

Harper: I ran away from her, too.

Why does it feel like I'm not talking to you right now?

I don't know, dude.

Maybe you just don't fսckіng like what you're looking at.

You know, you could've pulled your head out of your ass and just asked me what was going on.

I should have asked.

You're right and I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm asking now.

( Techno music swells )

( Sniffles, scoffs )

Fսck it. Let's go.

( Breathes shakily )

( Breathes shakily )

( Exhales shakily )

( Music concludes )

( Clock ticking rapidly )

( Birds chirping )

( In German )

( In German )

( In English ) You are so elegant, even after whatever it is you did last night.

( Chuckles )

Theresa Werner: But all I can think about is cleaning up your vomit.

( Both chuckle )

Do you still see Maxim?

No.

I'm not really close with that side of the family anymore.

So, can I help you with something?

I need to know whether you had a relationship with my father.

'Cause I have a mem...

I'm not exactly sure what I remember.

I just know that there is something I need to know.

We had a relationship.

It ended. That's it.

When?

For how long?

This is inappropriate, okay?

Yasmin: Why?

Because you took his money?

Because he paid for all of this?

No, because you're going to wake up my daughter.

You seem to know that, legally, I can't speak about this.

So, why are you asking me?

How old is your daughter?

( Glass thudding )

How old were you?

I was legal if that's what you want to know.

I loved your father.

It was a long time ago and it went on for too long.

But I loved him.

I'm going to call you a cab.

Carl: ( In German )

( Sniffles )

( Zipper whizzing )

Carl:

( Chuckles, in English ) Nice to meet you.

( Footsteps receding )

Harper: How often did you do this on tour?

JD: Um...

All the time.

And, you know, when I first got here. ( Inhales )

Then I stopped.

( Inhales deeply, exhales )

( JD sniffling )

Can't we just go home?

( JD sniffling )

( Birds chirping )

( Indistinct chatter )

( Groans )

( Doorbell ringing )

( Knocking on door )

( Door opening )

( Robert groans )

Decorations look good.

Yeah, we never take ‘em down.

You fսckіng overdid it again, didn't you?

Eat something solid for fսck's sake.

You been on that horrible pub grub gear.

Haven't you?

Yeah, you know me.

You look like sh¡t for a handsome lad.

Thank God, I look like Mom.

Bob Snr: Hmm. Thank God.

( Bob groans )

Robert: She was a tyrant, you know.

Good word for her. She were a bit, yeah.

She said horrible sh¡t about you.

She said it to my face, too. She said I was static.

Don't worry about that. She was restless, just like you, always in your ear.

She was in your ear a lot about how you should be and look, that's fine.

She loved you, just 'cause I weren't, doesn't mean I didn't.

Dad?

( "O Holy Night" playing )

Dad, the last few years, I haven't been very...

Hey.

You don't owe me anything.

It's always day one with us.

( Thudding )

♪ For yonder breaks A new and glorious morn... ♪

Are your kids in?

Your brothers? Yeah. I was just about to get them up.

♪ Fall on your knees... ♪

Bob Snr: Tyrants!

Come on, you little bastards, out of bed.

♪ O hear... ♪

Bob Snr: Hey! Hey!

♪ The angels' voices... ♪

Bob snr: Your brother, Rob, is here, he's downstairs.

If you behave yourself, mate...

♪ O night ♪
♪ Divine... ♪

( Indistinct chatter )

Voicemail: You have two new messages.

First new message.

Nicole Craig: ( Over phone ) Hi, it's Nicole, your client.

Look, obviously, I don't miss you or anything but you're my coverage, so I expect you to return my call.

Voicemail: Second new message.

DVD: ( Over phone ) Rob, hey, it's DVD.

So, I heard you had a good time last night then, huh?

Well, that's great fսckіng work.

Daphne's in. See you in the office.

♪ Fall on your knees ♪
♪ O hear the angels' voices ♪
♪ O night divine ♪
♪ O night when Christ was born ♪
♪ O night... ♪

JD: "Achieving mental strength may be tough but it will get you real results. Achieving mental strength may be tough but it will get you real results. Achieving mental strength may be tough but it will get you real results." ( Chuckles )

( Song concludes )

I want you to come back to London with me.

( Grunts )

Why would I do that?

I make enough money to support us both.

I'll look after you.

You don't have to live like this.

I like how I live.

It will be our secret.

We won't even have to speak to Mom. It will just be us.

( Inhales ) What us? ( Exhales )

( Sniffles ) There was never any us, only you.

Why are you saying that?

Harper, you're the most selfish person I've ever met in my life.

I'm selfish?

Yeah.

Our whole fսckіng life was about you.

Do you know what it was like growing up with you?

JD: Oh, my God.

I have been living for you from the moment that I thought you were dead. Because you know that you're still dead to me, right?

You know that I thought you were dead?

You did that to me.

Every fսckіng year on the day that you left, I have to fսckіng live with that.

Oh, okay, so, um...

So, you only thought about me once a year?

No, thank you so much for that. I really...

I fսckіng appreciate it.

You made me fail the most important exam of my life. ( Sobs )

JD: A fսckіng exam, you see what I mean?

Your fսckіng exam.

I've been living a fսckіng lie.

I ma... I made you? ( Scoffs )

Why are you hiding? Why are you hiding from me?

You need me to forgive you for the fact that you ignored how bad it was for me?

I mean, you celebrated more than Mom did.

I was having a fսckіng panic attack and... and you pushed me out to finish a tennis match.

We wanted you to succeed!

JD: Don't!

I didn't know how bad it was.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry!

JD: See, that's bullshit.

That's fսckіng bullshit or you wouldn't be here with your fսckіng money trying to fսckіng... ( Inhales ) ...fix me.

And you're only here now because you know you're as guilty as she is.

( Inhales shakily )

You only give a fսck about yourself.

You're not capable of actual love... 'cause you're a fսckіng narcissist.

( Sniffling )

You know... on dark days...

I think... you knew we shared a womb together, but... ( Sniffles ) ...you knew... that only one of us was ever really gonna make it out.

I'm sorry. I will do anything.

I'm begging you.

JD: I need to get back to my life.

I need to get back to my life. I need to get back to my life.

( Dial tone ringing )

Helene, hey, hey, um...

( In German )

Jackie: I know this is meant to be more of a passing of the baton, put a face to a name.

As you know, Harper is one of our best young salespeople, first on everything, intuitive, worryingly brilliant.

And Yasmin is probably the best young social operator in this job I've ever come across, as you well know.

( Chuckles )

So, they're big boots to fill.

And, obviously, I'm one person, but you're getting the totality of the firm.

A united front? Right, ladies?

Well, I'm sorry to be losing you, Yasmin, and I look forward to continuing the relationship with Pierpoint.

Perhaps, if all goes well, you'll be covering me in Wealth Management?

Something to aspire to. ( Clears throat )

And, uh, apologies again for the short notice push.

I don't need to tell you the kind of rumors that have been circulating the last couple of days?

It'd be super bearish for my Rican position if Amazon buy FastAide and win those NHS contracts.

Harper, what's your view?

It's unsubstantiated.

Anna Gearing: Jessie said he hadn't been able to get a hold of you.

Sounds like a shitshow inside of a shitstorm.

I like to be very transparent on hedging stuff.

Price, levels. ( Inhales )

I imagine that's a side issue headache for equity investors.

So, I'm just pain relief.

Anna: Perfect.

Are you okay?

Yeah, just a slight fever I think.

( Jackie snapping fingers )

Hey, guys. Do you feel that?

That energy?

There is not a single pen¡s in this room.

( Laughs )

( snοrt¡ng )

This b¡tch is hilarious.

( Indistinct chatter )

( Telephones ringing )

Rishi: Christmas at Di's.

My dad's so posh he's basically disabled.

I think my mom's depressed.

Three wines in, she started calling me her "Chutney Prince."

Mild incident when Di found my Viagra.

Xmas lad!

Beak and bubbles neuters me, old boy becomes a slug.

ELEVATOR FLOOR

Announcer: Lift going down.

Yo, you barely opened your mouth to me today.

Did you catch up with your brother?

Did something happen in Berlin?

( "Shepherd's Bell Carol" by Samuel Pegg playing )

Did you like, um... I don't know, sleep with someone or something?

Is that all your imagination is capable of?

Did I sleep with someone? What if I did?

Elevator floor announcer: Third floor, Pierpoint Services.

( Elevator bell dinging )

Elevator floor announcer: Doors opening.

( "Shepherds' Bell Carol" by Samuel Pegg playing )

I'm fine.

Maybe you just don't like what you're looking at.

( Music swells )

Elevator floor announcer: Doors closing.

( Song concludes )

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Transcripts expected throughout Thursday, 28 March, 2024.

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